OK, we all are human. And some of us have strong desires for some things that others might call superficial – like beauty and appearance. It may not be the best part of who you are, but it is indeed a part of who you are. And if that is who you are and those are your […]
Month: July 2014
A marriage is only as healthy as the least healthy person
No marriage can ever be healthier than the emotional health of the least healthy partner. What is emotional health? A well-constructed sense of self. It means knowing yourself well and feeling good about yourself. Marriage doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. If someone is a negative, unhappy person before marriage, they will be […]
What is Hamshachas HaLev? And how do I know if I am feeling that?
We love the person who helps us feel good about ourselves. It is crucial to marry someone who makes you feel comfortable about being you. Someone who appreciates you so much that you begin appreciating yourself more. In an authentic way. Not just flattery. Someone who notices the ‘you’ in you. And you want to marry someone […]
The difference between Personality & Character. Its important to know the difference
Leah is fun to be with, great sense of humor, and knows how to laugh through the challenges that come her way. She’s confident and super friendly and has lots of friends. But what is she really like? Is she reliable and responsible? Does she have integrity? Is she kind? What does she feel is […]
‘Taking a break’
Sometimes it happens. You’re dating someone and you’re just not sure. Sometimes, ‘taking a break’ from meeting each other is the best thing to do. The Rebbe has suggested it on a number of occasions. Sometimes, people just need some space to work things out in their head. Every time you have a conversation with […]
When suggesting a shiduch, ask for permission
by Devora Krasnianski, founder of Adai Ad Institute Consider this: Yossi has been dating Leah for 3 weeks. There is a lot he likes about her and he really thinks that they might be compatible. But… not quite yet. He always wanted someone more outgoing to help bring him out of his own shell. He has […]
What to do after a date
The date went well. You shared about yourself. You learned a little more about him. But you’re still not sure about a couple of things. You don’t know him all that well to commit to marriage. That’s OK. So you come home. And then what? Here’s what not to do. Don’t analyze and antagonize over […]
Sharing personal story while dating
What to share… when to share … how to share… Questions milling around in any dater’s head. The old advice, “You can never say the wrong thing to the right person” doesn’t really apply in our shidduch system. For whatever reasons. To some degree, it is not so much about when to share, but with […]
Really listening
To really listen to someone is truly a sign of respect. A philosophical thinker once said: “Listening – not imitation – may be the sincerest form of flattery.” This type of real listening is not as simple as just being part of the conversation and allowing her to talk. It’s about really trying to understand her […]