Developing common interests and hobbies strengthens the idea that you and your spouse are a team. When you share a passion for the same interests, it can bond you together. When you both enjoy doing something, and you do it together – you end up spending time together. And it is pleasant and happy time […]
Month: May 2022
Is naysaying slowing you down?
Naysaying is devaluing or rejecting a suggestion without evaluating it fairly. “Nice try, nice idea but it’s never going to work.” “No way.” “Here we go again.” Sometimes it is more subtle and can be innocent questions, reminders of unforeseen impediments, and doubts. Naysaying holds back positive changes. And, it negatively impacts relationships. Nobody likes […]
Words to Avoid: “You can’t do anything right.”
These words are an attack on the other person’s competence and worth. They cut to the core value of a person and make them feel worthless. This is emotionally or verbally abusive. You might be frustrated at something, but saying such words is not the way to deal with those frustrations. Everyone has flaws and […]
Addictions & Marriage
Rabbi Dr. Benzion Twerski talks about how addiction can impact a relationship. Covering: “Should I get married or begin dating with an addiction?” “Should I get into a relationship with someone who has or had an addiction?”
Give yourself permission to lean on your partner.
Of course, you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but one of the nice things about being married is that you don’t have to shoulder life all on your own. Let your spouse take care of you once in a while. You don’t have to do it alone. Your spouse wants what is […]
If you need help, just ask.
You don’t have to do it all to have it all. Get the support and help you need. Even if it means you have to ask for it directly. It may feel like strength to be able to do everything ourselves. We may even get a momentary high feeling like we’ve proven something or shown […]
Have routine relationship check-ins.
When you’ve been married for a long time, it’s easy to slip into a daily routine and familiar lifestyle and forget that you might not necessarily be meeting all of your partner’s needs. Just because someone isn’t vocalizing a complaint doesn’t mean that everything is blissful. Take the time together to zoom out of the […]
Words to Avoid: “Look what you made me do.”
These words show that you are not taking responsibility you’re your actions. When you say these words you are trying to justify that what you just did is OK because someone else made you do it. You are shifting responsibility, in other words blaming. Blame is one of the most common forms of verbal abuse. […]
How to apologize the right way.
Admitting a wrong-doing generally isn’t easy — especially when doing so means acknowledging that you hurt someone you care about. When an apology is absent or it’s a bad apology, it puts a crack in the very foundation of a relationship. You have to mean it. It must be genuine. An insincere apology is worse […]
Flexibility keeps stress levels down.
In life, lots of things go differently than we had expected or hoped. There will be unexpected events, expenses, and situations. It’s important for partners to understand and anticipate that as part of life. And since we can’t really anticipate anything, we must therefore react with flexibility. If we are too rigid and we resist […]