When your choices are grounded in your values and priorities, your life is more in balance. Things seem out of whack when what we do in our lives is not aligned with our truest priorities and values. We want a strong and happy marriage, but other things – like work, household chores, social life, (the […]
Month: July 2019
Core values: benefits of defining them. Consequences for not.
It is never too late to get started on defining your core values. And they may change through the different phases of your life. CORE VALUES: Of course our Torah values. Beyond those, what are your core values? Some possibles: Shabbos is time for family bonding. Our children should have lots of experiences in nature. […]
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Throughout life, there will be many roads with forks – many selections to be made. Sometimes, the outcome is not that important and the choice or decision is easier to be made. And sometimes, the options are life changing and it can be a bit overwhelming to make a selection. Nonetheless, you must move in […]
The most interesting thing you can get to know today is not on your phone.
Too many of us fill every empty second checking out our phones. There’s always something to read or play on the phone. But that robs us of the small opportunities to be present in our own lives, being with our own thoughts, thinking about what matters to us, making meaning of what is happening in […]
Ask: “How am I doing as a spouse?”
Of course, you love your spouse and you want them to be happy in the marriage. You may be doing a lot of what you think you should be doing to make your spouse happy. You may be giving little and big gifts. And compliments. All the right stuff. (Or you may not be.) But […]
Speak (and think) in positive terms
“You didn’t do it, right?” “You don’t have it, right?” These have a negative undertone. This way of speaking may be common enough in our English vernacular, but it doesn’t make it a good way to speak. It gives a sense that you don’t expect much from the other. Choose better ways of expressing your […]
If you are going to do it, do it from love.
Your frame of mind matters. -If you do something out of duty, it will deplete you. -If you do it out of fear, it can make you frantic. -If you do it out of love, it will energize you. You are doing the same action, but your frame of mind makes all the difference. Positive […]
“Ouch” is such a powerful word.
It will inevitably happen. Your spouse will do something and you my feel angry about it. That anger is really a hard emotion covering a softer emotion such as hurt, disappointment, rejection, embarrassment, rejection… But responding from anger will just exacerbate the situation. Rather, just say “ouch”.. This addresses the hurt, the underlying emotion – […]
Trying vs doing
The words with which we think can make a huge difference in how we actually live. And how people perceive us. TRY vs DO “I’m trying to get this done.” vs “I’m doing it; I’m on the journey toward making it happen” — “Trying” is a convenient way for you to never actually have to […]
Don’t avoid difficult convos, plan them for real effectiveness.
Is there a conversation you know you need to have, but you just don’t know what to say so you push it off? For starters, you are just dragging out your discomfort. You still have the issue AND the big thought that “I need to say something about this’” weighs very heavily on your mind. […]