Of course, simply, you can’t hear someone else if you are talking. More than that, the quieter the noise – the busyness, franticness – the more you are able to hear and learn and appreciate the world and people around you. In the silent moments of your life – when you are not inundated with […]
The quieter you are, the more you can hear. Read More »
Whoever expresses their emotions first – whether through words or body language – gets to share their feelings completely before the other can speak. It may not be easy, but it is important to allow the speaker to share it all. This shows respect to the speaker. Even if your spouse is sharing complaints about
Whoever shares first gets to finish speaking before the other shares Read More »
So much of life is how we frame our thoughts. “I am so worried if I am really good enough.” –> “I wonder what I will learn from this whole experience.” Worrying isn’t helpful. The more positive sense of wonder brings more energy to your life.
Not worry, rather wonder. Read More »
You are the one who had a catalyst for this thought – something got you thinking or acting on this. You have been thinking about the issue for a while. You’ve been mulling over it in your head. But the idea is new to your spouse. They need to process it in their own way.
Allow time and space for your spouse to process what you said. Read More »
Listen in to your emotions. They have so much to tell you. Shame. Anger. Anxiety. They all tell us something about what is going on for us. Before it turns into something even larger. Tap into the emotion: “Hey anxiety. What’s going on?” You might notice that something feels out of alignment. Your anxiety may
Listen to your emotions. Read More »
Change is hard. You don’t have to do it by leaps. Rather, make small tweaks to your life – one by one. A tweak is a fine, small adjustment. It is small, and therefore manageable. And that can have a huge impact.
It’s not a leap; it’s just a tweak. Read More »
It may be time to challenge the old adage “perception is reality”. Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories abut what is going on; we add our own interpretations and sensitivities to the reality. It is worth digging down to challenge your perception to see if it is actually the reality. Ask yourself these 4 questions. Let’s
Is the story you tell yourself helping you in your life? Read More »
Reality is whatever is in front of you, whatever is really happening. The truth. Whether you like it or not. Let’s say it is raining right now. That is the truth, that is the reality. Thinking that “It shouldn’t be raining” is just a thought. Thinking that your spouse “should be home more with the
‘Should’ has nothing to do with your reality. Read More »
Studies have found that when we feel close to someone, “mirror neurons” help us both imitate their behavior and understand their feelings. In other words, your spouse will pick up on your behaviors and words and will mirror it back to you. So, you start and your spouse will soon follow. If your spouse is
Chemistry of loving bonds: mirror neurons Read More »
In a situation, where you might have responded with defensiveness, you’d do much better by asking questions. Ask with genuine curiosity and respect to show that you are eager to learn and know, to better understand. The question should be an invitation for the other person to share what is going on; so it should
Feeling defensive? It’s better to ask questions. Read More »
