For husbands: Corona & your marriage – part 2
Rabbi Taub continues the conversation about husband’s role – especially in times of Corona.
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April 2020
Reframe worry/fear as concern
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” This is often the case. We tend to worry about things which would better classified as possibilities than realities. Worries, fear and anxiety tend to take over our minds and leave no space for clarity or sound judgment which can help
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Supporting your spouse through Corona-related trauma with Dr. Elka Pinson
Dr. Pinson shares some insights about how to show support to a spouse (or other loved one) who has experienced trauma induced by Corona. What might you say, what is generally not helpful, what type of further support is available?
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Fight to fix not fight to win
OK, fight is not the best word, but somehow that is what many people feel they are doing when there is a difference of perspective or when they are disappointed in what the other has (or has not) done. A better way of looking at such a situation (and it is inevitable that this will
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Your F.I.R.E. determines how you see situations.
People are driven by their F- Fears I – Interests R -Responsibilities E- Experiences People experience and respond to things through the filter of their FIRE. You can’t ignore, belittle or try to extinguish that FIRE. Rather try to understand what drives them and work through those. – “It would help me if you shared
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Accept that there will be misunderstandings from time to time.
Expect that periodically your spouse will be confused by you. It’s all part of being human – from different genders and backgrounds. Just knowing that it will happen from time to time should help you avoid becoming irritated and distracted.
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Speak in your spouse’s language
If you want to get a message to your spouse, speak to them in the way that they can best understand and receive it. The more you know the context in which they see the world, the better you can communicate. People live in their universe, with their context, the way they see the world.
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For Husbands: Corona & your Marriage
Rabbi Taub addresses some issues unique to Corona – as applicable to role of husband.
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Expand your emotional awareness (and vocabulary)
Question your emotions: If you think you’re feeling angry, ask yourself what two other emotions you might be feeling* (perhaps frustration and disappointment). Then consider why you’re feeling that way. *You might find the Feelings Wheel (http://feelingswheel.com/) to be a helpful tool to find a more accurate and nuanced description of your emotions. — Emotions
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Tease each other, playfully
We are not talking about taunting or belittling. It’s that playful ribbing that creates bonding. It’s gently poking fun at personal quirks you find entertaining and endearing. Teasing is great because it shows that you really know your partner inside and out and that you love their greatest attributes and biggest flaws equally. Laughter and
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