The conversation may start off calmly enough, but when emotions get involved, things can flare up. And rather quickly. Not leading anywhere positive. Hopefully, one of you will notice this before it gets too hot, and will call a ‘time out’. –>“Let’s not let this get out of hand and say things we will both […]
Month: October 2019
Remember why you got married to your spouse. The happy moments.
Remember what you admired and liked about your spouse when you first committed to a lifetime together. (And if you don’t remember, ask some of your friends from back them to remind you.) When (if) you hit a rough patch, bring up that positive image of your spouse’s best self. And address that person. The […]
Don’t let bad habits run amok.
Sometimes your upset is because this incident is yet one more example of a trend in your marriage. This yet one more incident where your schedule was not taken into account at all. Lousy investment practices, upsetting parenting tactics, selfishness. Lead with the big picture and bring in the latest incident as ‘evidence’. In other […]
Take care of the weeds before they take over the field.
Sometimes your upset is because this incident is yet one more example of a trend in your marriage. This yet one more incident where your schedule was not taken into account at all. Lousy investment practices, upsetting parenting tactics, selfishness. Lead with the big picture and bring in the latest incident as ‘evidence’. In other […]
Live your life ‘by design’. Discuss your long term goals.
Yes, it is true that “man plans and G-d laughs’. At the same time, you and your spouse are in the same marriage. In the same car and you really ought to be going in the same direction. What do you want for your life, for your marriage. Discuss that. You want to be ‘happy’; […]
Getting into a ‘date night’ routine
This last month was busy with holidays and you might have missed those date nights or good conversations that enrich your relationship. For the next ‘quiet’ months, you can set a routine of date nights, taking a walk together, tea together. Or whatever works for you. Or what you may want to try.And set it […]
Is your phone serving you? Or, are you serving it?
Our phones have become so much part of modern living. They are powerful and useful. In so many ways. But they are also destructive. In so many ways. Is your phone/ device serving you: is it helping you become more productive? is it helping the quality of your relationships – both those from afar and […]
Are you using your phone as a distraction from your real life?
Do you – or someone you know – use their phone or other device way too often and it is impacting their relationships or productivity? For some people, the phone is a tool to distract themselves from their real life. –>They don’t like to be alone with their own thoughts (in other words, bored) even […]
This Yom Kippur, daven for: the willingness to forgive yourself
Yeah, we all have made some mistakes in this last year. We all have not been fully aligned with our potential, in some way or another. We may have (inadvertently) said something that offended another. Or didn’t respond to something in the best way that we could have. Regrets. ‘How could I have done that?” […]
This Yom Kippur, daven for: even better words to express your thoughts & feelings.
The metaphors and words which we think in frame our attitudes. Think about the differences: –> “Wow, we have a problem” or –> “We have to tackle this challenge” or –> “This is an opportunity to try something new” or –> “Let’s play with some ideas here” Framing situations in more positive ways gets us […]