Our minds have very little control over this world. Our mind can’t control the weather, other people, places and the things around us. When we worry, we are in a sense asking our mind to manipulate the world to make things go as we wish. But the mind just can’t do that. We worry and […]
Month: November 2022
What you put out is (usually) what you get back.
It’s the Law of Reciprocity. When we do something for someone else, they tend to reciprocate. When we’re generous, the other person is more likely to be generous toward us. When we genuinely want to understand the other’s point of view, they’ll more likely to want to understand yours. If the person we talk with […]
“I hear you” or “I understand you”
How do these words land on you: “I hear you”, “I understand you”? To some people, they mean the same thing. “I hear you”: Some people take that as the one saying those words is impatient or that they are not really trying to get your point and they want to jump in with their […]
Match your words to the Intensity of your emotions
Every emotion has degrees, from diminished to fiercely intense. Different words have different temperatures. Monitor your language and make sure your language isn’t minimizing or exaggerating the intensity of emotions. Match your words to the actual intensity of your emotions. –> Are you feeling blue, stressed, heartbroken, dejected, or depressed?–> Are you feeling satisfied, glad, […]
Use the right word for the situation
Even though several words may be synonymous, they have different shades of meaning and connotations. Additionally, some words have different meanings to specific people. Some words don’t really convey much; they are very general. 🤔“It was a nice day.” Nice in what way? Fun, relaxed, good enough.🤔“I am so happy.” Are you excited or elated […]
What is your empathy language?
The common understanding of empathy is walking in someone else’s shoes. In reality, that takes some assuming of what is going on, which can lead to the distressed one not feeling seen or heard. Instead, we should be inquisitive, then validating and compassionate. Just as there are different love languages, similarly there are empathy languages. […]
Most important key points about dating
View the world through the lens of curiosity.
Curiosity is about asking “Why?” or “What might be a reason…?” “What might be going on?” instead of assuming. Curiosity opens our brain to new ways of looking at things and then to new ways of doing things. We seek to understand and then act from there. “What might be going on for child that […]
Look for patterns in your negative thoughts.
Our thoughts and beliefs drive our actions. If we have negative thoughts, we respond in an unproductive way. Thoughts like “I will never get this right,” can steal our energy and we give up. It can be helpful to convert that thought to a more positive one, “I am not good at this yet, but […]
Change takes time.
There’s only one way to change: slowly, over time. While we may be anxious to be on the other side of the change, it just doesn’t happen that way. It can be frustrating, but once we recognize that there are no shortcuts, that it will take time and there will be setbacks, we become more […]