Having an issue with someone? Ask yourself this question: “Do I have the same (or similar) issues with other people or only this specific person?” If it is just this one person, work through it together, or carefully extricate yourself from the situation or relationship. If you notice a pattern of how people behave towards […]
Issues with other people? Is it you or them? Read More »
Our lives need a healthy balance of ‘doing’ and ‘being’. Of course, there are lots of things we must ‘do’ – take care of the house and family, sleep, eat, work and so many other things. Long to-do lists where what counts is the outcome. But we must also make time to ‘be’. These are
Mix a little ‘being’ into the ‘doing’. Read More »
It’s common for people to use avoidance tactics when they don’t want to talk about something. Not talking about these things isn’t going to make them disappear. Putting off conversations can build resentment, making it even harder to address your issues over time. Accept that it will be hard. But don’t expect that it will
How to have difficult conversations with your spouse. Read More »
You may have every ‘right’ to expect something from your spouse or someone else and so you constantly remind them to do it. But they consistently don’t do it or ignore your requests. And you remind them again. That’s nagging. And people don’t respond well to nagging. Such communication can come across as complaining, blaming
Nagging is in the ear of the beholder. Read More »
We are not talking about taunting or belittling. It’s that playful ribbing that creates bonding. It’s gently poking fun at personal quirks you find entertaining and endearing. Teasing is great because it shows that you really know your partner inside and out and that you love their greatest attributes and biggest flaws equally. Laughter and
What playful teasing can do for your relationship. Read More »
Things happen all the time. For example, your spouse comes home 2 hours later than they had said. It is really our thoughts that create our experience of that circumstance or event. We give meaning to whatever happened. “So inconsiderate.” or “They work so hard for our family.” Our feelings then follow those thoughts. Angry
Your thoughts create your results. Read More »
A Marriage Meeting can really solidify your marriage. This is a short (about 30 minutes) check-in where the two of you share appreciation, plan together and nip potential conflicts in the bud. This should be a scheduled weekly meeting (separate from date night or budget meetings). A half-hour is long enough to cover everything, but
Weekly marriage meetings keep you on track. Read More »
There is a subtle difference between a budget and a spending plan. A spending plan is couched in empowering language and encourages thoughtful financial decisions. You might think of a ‘spending plan’ as a roadmap for how you’ll spend your money, rather than a list of ‘don’ts’ that restrict your spending — even if the
Create a spending plan, not a budget. Read More »
We won’t find a solution by telling ourselves that there is no problem. That thinking “There shouldn’t be a problem, so there is no problem, so we don’t have to deal with this” keeps us in a rut. And things can potentially get even worse. There’s something going on that is problematic for us. We
You cannot solve a problem you are not willing to have. Read More »
