The five most important traits affecting relationships are:
Emotional stability/Low neuroticism – Agitation, anger, irritation, hostility, touchiness, defensiveness
Agreeableness – Degree of niceness and friendliness
Conscientiousness – Making an effort for the relationship, having determination and not being fickle
Openness – Willingness to share, to listen, to be generous
Extroversion – How outgoing and loud a person is, how fun-loving and exciting
Traits are broadly stable. This means that even if people try to hide them, they will show over time.
The first three are the main ones. For those three, it is about finding someone – if possible – who is high on the positive side. While all extremes are bad, finding someone high on at least two of the first three is a real plus.
The last two are more about what to avoid. It is best to not end up with someone extremely high on closeness or extroversion, but there is no advantage in finding someone extremely low either.
The main point is that if you find someone who scores decently across these five dimensions, then you have the makings of a successful marriage. If such a person comes your way, don’t be quick to look for reasons to let the opportunity pass you by.
