Are short dates a bad sign?
Are short dates a bad sign? Read More »
ACQUAINT: Getting to know each other
Conversation on first dates
The first half-hour of the first date(s) is all about loosening up, breaking any tension and just … getting through it. Keep things lighthearted, natural and quite general. Ask light questions with the intent to find something in common. When you are starting a conversation, not all topics will catch on right away. When something seems to catch both of your attention, hover on that topic and dive deeper.
First dates are not all about chit-chatting about random topics. The goal of the first dates is to get a sense of who the other person is. You both should be sharing bits about yourself in areas that are not that private.
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“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
Some people may think they are attracted to only a certain look and won’t even consider dating someone who doesn’t have those features. They rationalize their perspective by saying that they can’t control who they find attractive, and why waste both people’s time by meeting. At first glance, that may seem reasonable. But actually, it
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“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
Attraction is a very personal thing. Clearly, there needs to be an attraction between two people for a shidduch to work out.
At the same time, attraction needs to be put in perspective of the marriage and lifelong compatibility. In the actual marriage, other factors are most likely going to play a much greater role. Shared values, empathy, generosity, stability all are elements that are crucial for successful marriage.
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It’s OK to ask personal questions on a first date.
Personal is not the same thing as private.
This might just be semantics, but they are two different types of questions. A private question addresses matters which are private. A personal question elicits an answer that is unique to that person.
It’s OK to ask personal questions on a first date. Read More »
How to talk about parents and family on a date.
Family often brings out a lot of passion in people. They are the people we love most, but also the people who have the capacity to hurt us the most. People may not realize how they feel about their family until they start speaking about them. We can be surprised by the strength of resentments
How to talk about parents and family on a date. Read More »
You may be an idiot, but there is no obligation to show it!
Dating doesn’t have to be all serious. If you have a fun personality, let it show. Have a good time, and let your date have a good time. But don’t act the clown. Don’t do dumb things. Play it reasonably safe. You may think you know the person, but you don’t know how they will
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Why the first few dates are so important.
A good number of people could struggle with the very first dates. They tend to be those who are less adept at social interaction and find the early process of getting to know someone rather difficult. Where the problem is most challenging is for people who are not the most articulate or strong communicators. During
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The person I am dating seems to think only about himself. Should I get out?
Some people tend towards selflessness. Others are naturally more selfish; the needs of others are less important to them. Some may not warm to such a character, and that is fine too. While objectively selflessness is a moral virtue, no one has every virtue and everyone is still capable of having a normal relationship. However,
The person I am dating seems to think only about himself. Should I get out? Read More »