Should I take a break
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stuck bundle
Should They Continue or Should They Quit?
When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?
Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.
Should They Continue or Should They Quit? Read More »
Should They Continue or Should They Quit?
When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?
Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.
Should They Continue or Should They Quit? Read More »
“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection
One of the key reasons people struggle with dating is: bonding, or building a connection. If connection doesn’t develop automatically and organically, it is still possible and necessary to nurture it. How? By saying and doing those things that trigger the same kinds of reactions that for most people happen naturally. Make it your business to ensure that your date feels better about herself for having spent some time in your company. This is especially true for people who are struggling to build connection.
“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection Read More »
“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection
One of the key reasons people struggle with dating is: bonding, or building a connection. If connection doesn’t develop automatically and organically, it is still possible and necessary to nurture it. How? By saying and doing those things that trigger the same kinds of reactions that for most people happen naturally. Make it your business to ensure that your date feels better about herself for having spent some time in your company. This is especially true for people who are struggling to build connection.
“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection Read More »
“I can’t help who I am attracted to”
Attraction is a very personal thing. Clearly, there needs to be an attraction between two people for a shidduch to work out.
At the same time, attraction needs to be put in perspective of the marriage and lifelong compatibility. In the actual marriage, other factors are most likely going to play a much greater role. Shared values, empathy, generosity, stability all are elements that are crucial for successful marriage.
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Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.
In shidduch dating, both parties come to the table with a clear goal in mind: marriage. However, there is a small percentage of people – we call them “players” – who have a habit of treating dating a bit like a game. They seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want
Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun. Read More »
Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun.
Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.
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If things aren’t going well, stop and ask why.
It has been said that, “Once is luck, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern.” If you have difficulties when dating one or two people, there is no reason to think much about it. Most people don’t marry the first person they date. Perhaps it is disappointing, but move on and you’ll be fine. However, if you
If things aren’t going well, stop and ask why. Read More »
Do you have an “avoidance issue”?
You may find that there always is something that prevents you from reaching the engagement stage. Repeatedly you find that something impossible to ignore is bothering you, and you feel utterly unable to contemplate marriage. The idea of proposing or accepting a proposal for marriage fill you with dread. Each time, it seems that this
Do you have an “avoidance issue”? Read More »