Dating can pose quite a challenge to many people. Not everyone is used to sitting for hours talking about themselves and listening to someone else do the same. It is assumed that a dating couple will engage in such activity for dozens of hours, which could be dozens of hours more than they are used to. It is therefore not uncommon for people to struggle with what to talk about.
Now, of course, they have their whole lives, their interests, dreams and much else to share. But many people feel that they have nowhere near enough interesting things to talk about during dating. Even if this isn’t true, the sense that it may be so can cause people to become nervous, anxious, or self-conscious – which can make this fear a self-fulfilling prophecy. But people do sometimes struggle with interesting things to talk about. That is why the best thing is to be doing interesting things in your life, so that you have lots of genuinely interesting things to talk about.
Would you like to join my life?
There is another really important reason why filling your life with interesting activities and pursuits is a great idea. Think about what dating is. Yes, you are trying to get to know someone to see if this could be the person for you. But let’s be completely honest, it is equally about you giving the person you are dating a good feeling about you. When you are dating, it is as if you have a placard hanging around your neck saying: “Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?”
So, think of it from the other person’s perspective: how enticing does that prospect sound? When you are doing interesting things, you are a more interesting person to be with. When you are actively looking to make your life more fulfilling, you are likely to have more fulfilling dates. If you are brimming with enthusiasm for the positive things you are getting up to, you are giving the person you are dating a reason to be enthusiastic about building a relationship with you.
When you have an interesting life, you will have so much more to speak about, and you’ll come across as an interesting person. Your dates will be more engaging and meaningful.
You can be more interesting. Pursue a more interesting life.
Here’s how to be more interesting
Do interesting and meaningful things. Do less of those things that are easy or fun but not meaningful or enriching. Start now. Get as much good stuff bottled inside of you. It will come in useful during dating, and it will only serve you well in marriage and life.
So here are our suggestions for pursuing an interesting and meaningful life; what are yours?
- Invest in yourself spiritually. Open an interesting sefer. Restart a chavrusa. Make a point of calling an elderly relative. It will most likely make you feel good about yourself and that will come across on your dates.
- Expand your horizons. Try something new – just about every day. Even if you’re not sure you’ll enjoy it. It can be something very small.
Things you might try:- Eat an exotic food
- Take a different route home
- Learn a few words in a foreign language
- Take a class
- Visit a museum
- Enjoy nature
- Move your furniture around
- Journal about your day
- Call an old friend
- Be interested in other people’s interesting things. Ask questions to learn from other people.
- Spend time with interesting people. Interesting people encourage the people around them to do interesting things, talk about interesting topics and engage with interesting ideas.
- Learn, read, volunteer, be active. You’ll expand your mind and your world.
Have an interesting life. and you will be more interesting.