When we take our spouse into account, we are being mindful of their needs and desires. When we make an effort to understand our partner’s perspectives and work to meet their needs, we create a relationship where they feel valued, heard, and appreciated. On the other hand, when we don’t take our spouse into account, […]
The ripple effect of considering your spouse. Read More »
In challenging conversations, it can be difficult for someone to articulate their thoughts and feelings clearly. Therefore, it’s helpful to give your spouse some leeway to express themselves, even if they may not do so perfectly at first. Additionally, it’s crucial to acknowledge that when we are feeling upset or defensive, we may not be
Avoid jumping to conclusions, seek clarity. Read More »
“I’ve noticed a change.” This phrase shows that you’re present, perceptive, and paying attention. People appreciate such connectedness and caring. Be specific about what you see. Invite them to respond. Make it easy for them to agree or clarify. “I’ve noticed a change in your enthusiasm for this upcoming trip. You are talking about it
Words to use: “I’ve noticed a change.” Read More »
Most people need some personal space or ‘me-time’ sometimes. Some people need that space more than others. It doesn’t necessarily reflect on the relationship. They need the space and time to reflect, recharge, to refuel. Respect your partner’s need for privacy and don’t take it personally if they want to be alone for a while.
Allow your spouse some ‘me time’. Read More »
“Thank you for letting me know.” When you use these words after someone shares bad news or negative feedback, you are showing that you are willing to grow, work with the situation or provide support. This builds trust and helps others feel comfortable to share honestly with you. “Thank you for letting me know that
Words to use: “Thank you for letting me know.” Read More »
If we have a problem with our spouse’s behavior, it’s our problem. Even if what they are doing (or not doing) leads to unfavorable outcomes, it is still our problem. It is when we recognize that the problems we have with others are, in fact, our problems, that we stop trying to change them and
Don’t like your spouse’s behavior? It’s your problem. Read More »
There are those decisions we made, the choices we took, and things we did or didn’t do that got us to where we are today. Sometimes, there are some regrets. Regret is different from disappointment. With disappointment, there is no agency, you feel that you can’t do anything. On the other hand, regret can propel
Regret makes us feel worse, but it makes us do better. Read More »
We live the lives we’re willing to tolerate. (NOTE: this is not at all saying that we are responsible for everything that happens to us, such as abuse.) If we are willing to tolerate negative or unsatisfying circumstances, we may find ourselves living a life that is less fulfilling or enjoyable. So many of us
We live the lives we are willing to tolerate. Read More »
Don’t take life so seriously all the time. Make time to laugh together. To do something goofy. Spontaneous. Irresponsible. Make some space in the busyness of your life for playing. If you are the spontaneous type, then just let serendipity reign. Or, you can create a list of things you’d like to try, just beyond
Add some playfulness into your marriage. Read More »
Instead of making an assumption or jumping to conclusions about something your spouse said or did, be curious. You’ll get a more accurate understanding of what is going on. And it will deepen your relationship.Curiosity leads to a deeper understanding of one another. Curiosity helps both of you grow. By asking and answering questions, you
Curiosity deepens your intimacy. Read More »
