You’ve been dating someone for a few times. You’ve both shared about yourselves and know quite a bit about each other. And then you determine that this person is not for you, and you want to end the relationship. Remember, this is a vulnerable time for both of you. How you end the relationship should be done with dignity and respect – for both of your sakes.
End a shidduch with dignity. Read More »
The purpose of dating is not to confirm automatic full agreement on every topic. There is no reason to feel disappointed the minute there is some area of disagreement. Unless the gap is felt to be truly unbridgeable, these are exactly the issues that should be discussed while on the date in an open and honest manner. Negotiation and compromise are not bad words. They will be your best friend in marriage, and you might as well befriend them during dating.
Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for. Read More »
People are often encouraged to make a list of criteria to guide the search process. Without question, this is necessary and important, because how else can someone know who may be suitable for you.
Knowing yourself, so that you know who to marry Read More »
It would be more advisable to give off a more realistic portrayal of life from the outset, and weave into that the factors that will make your weakness seem less threatening. You can provide context of your life that will make it easy for your date to see how you deal with and manage your issue.
I have sensitive information to reveal: how can I do this while causing least damage? Read More »
While therapy is designed to deal with traumas and wounds from the past, coaching is focused on helping someone figure out what to do going forward. If you feel stuck in your dating, you might benefit from working with a coach. If you are struggling with a significant issue, you will benefit from working with a therapist.
Do I need therapy? Read More »
Where is the request to continue the dating process coming from? Has overall compatibility been established? What do they say they need clarity on?
Especially important Is to be clear between the two of you as to what kind of clarity is to be gained during the next dates.
Set a goal and a timeframe. Not an ultimatum. Don’t pressure.
Sometimes, people get stuck. It is worthwhile to get professional support in making a decision.
He says “I am not ready, let’s continue dating”. Should I agree? Read More »
Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If you have done things you should be ashamed of, not feeling guilt would be a bad thing. But if the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing.
I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up. Read More »
More than the exact differences of your religiosity levels is the ‘what’ and ‘who’. What are the differences; are they major or minor? Who are each of you; how flexible are each of you?
We have different religious levels, is this a problem? Read More »
There are occasions when people have aspirations or expectations do not hold up to rational analysis because they have conflicting or confused priorities. No one person can possibly meet those conflicting requirements.
Conflicting and confused priorities. Read More »
