Even if we consider ourselves good-looking and are proud of our appearance, we feel cheapened when other people are overly focused on our external appearance instead of our inner worth. It is worth remembering that “men will be men,” and so long as it is not extreme it is not necessarily a problem, depending on […]
“I feel all he is interested in are my looks”. Read More »
There are two types of anger issues – and they are worlds apart. There are feisty people who are prone to raise their voices, get strongly animated, and occasionally get carried away. They may use overly forceful language to make their point, being unnecessarily argumentative, and refusing to back down from an argument. Many people
The person I am dating has an anger issue, what should I do? Read More »
If nothing else, dating is about honesty. There are several important reasons for this. The main element of dating is “mutual self-disclosure,” whereby each party progressively shares and reveals more about themselves. Dating is also about being yourself and letting go, rather than anxiously screening everything you say. Marriage is based on trust, and hiding
Do I have to tell my date problematic things I have done in the past? Read More »
You’ve been dating someone for a few times. You’ve both shared about yourselves and know quite a bit about each other. And then you determine that this person is not for you, and you want to end the relationship. Remember, this is a vulnerable time for both of you. How you end the relationship should be done with dignity and respect – for both of your sakes.
End a shidduch with dignity. Read More »
Being “opposite” is mostly not an advantage when it comes to relationships, with the exception of certain combinations of personality, especially strength and warmth of personality. A decent level of similarity is essential when it comes to most other aspects of personality, such as kindness and work ethic. When it comes to values, similarity is important, and the greater the convergence the better. When it comes to personal features, difference is not ever a plus, but most of the time they are easy areas for compromise.
Is it true that opposites attract? Read More »
Don’t marry someone with the hope that they will change. As much as you may wish it, people don’t easily change their attitudes and core beliefs. Rather, think: Would you marry the person as they are? If the answer is yes – but you would rather they change this thing about themselves – then you have nothing to lose. If the answer is no, then this is not a compatible match for you.
Accept that people don’t fundamentally change. Read More »
A relationship based on love is likely to stand the test of time; one based on infatuation won’t last. Love and infatuation can feel very similar. Make sure that what you have is (the beginnings of) real love, not infatuation.
Love comes from shared values and a common vision, along with a meaningful knowledge of and connection with another. Infatuation is based on heady chemistry, excitement about all the attention, and physical attraction.
Know the difference between love and infatuation. Read More »
What is most important for a marriage? A couple needs to be compatible when it comes to personality and values, but can sustain much great divergence when it comes to personal features.
How can I be confident that I am marrying the right person? Read More »
When people speak about finding their soulmate, they generally mean one of two things. For some people it means looking for someone with whom they can have a deeper connection. Others, though, are searching for someone who can be their “everything” – and that can become a problem.
That person is not your soulmate because you are identical in every way, but because when together both of your souls thrive and flourish.
I am looking for my soulmate; how do I know when I have found it? Read More »
Sometimes, a man sees a woman that he finds particularly attractive and cannot help himself comparing her more favorably to the woman he is dating or is married to. It is important that he take a broader view and recognize that it is highly unlikely that it can become a successful marriage.
“I like the person I am dating, but I find other people much prettier/smarter.” Read More »
