If you are told that a potential shidduch has a medical condition, it is reasonable for you to be apprehensive. Health is a very important issue. However, it is only one of many important issues married couples have to deal with.
There are three sets of questions that you should ask to help you decide whether someone’s health condition should be an obstacle to dating and marriage:
1) What is the condition? Medical conditions come in all different shapes and sizes. It is important that you educate yourself about the facts, and not jump to conclusions. Some conditions can demand a high level of support, or may be genetic, or may affect fertility – but most will not be that big a deal. Take advice and find out the facts.
2) How are they handling it? People vary greatly in how they deal with their challenges. Many people adopt a true “can-do attitude” and are exceedingly resilient and tough. Exactly the kind of inner strength that we all seek to have in a spouse.
3) What about the person overall? The things that usually never change are the person’s character, middos, and intelligence. Take note of all the qualities of the person.
Take a holistic view of the person. Remember, this is a whole person; not a diagnosis.