This is deflecting.Instead of staying with what’s being brought up, this phrase flips the focus to their behavior — dodging your own accountability. It might feel like self-protection in the moment, but deflecting shuts down honest, connected conversation. And ultimately, the relationship. Pause and ask yourself:✨ What feels uncomfortable right now? ✨ What part of […]
Words to avoid: “Well, what about when you …” Read More »
It’s easy to get caught up in small disagreements, like the way the toothpaste is squeezed or how the towels are folded. But often, these little things aren’t the real issue—they’re just the trigger. What’s really going on is something deeper, like feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected. The small irritations are usually a reflection of
The hidden meaning behind everyday frustrations Read More »
This simple line shares your inner world.You are sharing it as your perspective—not the ultimate truth.You’re not stating it as a fact or making an accusation—just naming the way something lands for you. 💛 “The story I tell myself when you bring me coffee is that you want to make me smile.” It works for
Words to use: “The story I tell myself is …” Read More »
When your spouse shares their hurt, frustration, or pain about something you’ve done, the first thing they need isn’t a defense or explanation—it’s your empathy. In the moment, they need to feel understood, that you recognize the impact of your actions. Getting defensive or immediately jumping into your side of the story can shut down
The timing of telling your side of the story Read More »
Using the phrase “This is what I’m thinking” shows that you’ve put thought into the situation and that you’re offering your perspective in an open, non-defensive way. It’s a great way to introduce an idea or a plan while also showing that you’re open to hearing the other person’s thoughts and willing to adjust if
Words to use: “This is what I’m thinking.” Read More »
It’s easy to get caught up in small disagreements, like the way the toothpaste is squeezed or how the towels are folded. But often, these little things aren’t the real issue—they’re just the trigger. What’s really going on is something deeper, like feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected. The small irritations are usually a reflection of
Why ‘Being Right’ hurts conversations and relationships Read More »
When dividing tasks, it’s important to approach it as a shared responsibility, not as one person helping the other. Offering to take on certain tasks with the phrase “I’ll tackle that” signals both willingness and collaboration. However, tone matters—saying it with enthusiasm and a positive attitude is key. Don’t say it begrudgingly or as if
Words to use: “I’ll tackle that.” Read More »
