JOT

Words to Use:  “Help me understand your perspective.”

We’re two unique people—different upbringings, different wiring, different life experiences. So, of course, we’ll see things differently sometimes. You don’t need to bring the other person over to your side. First, seek to understand theirs. You might learn something new or expand your own thinking. At the very least, you’ll get to know them better.

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Words to avoid: “It’s your issue. Not mine.”

It might technically be true — maybe what’s coming up isn’t really about you. Maybe it’s shaped by your partner’s past, a sensitive spot, or their current state of mind. But saying “That’s your issue, not mine” misses the point.It sends the message: “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s not my problem.” 🎯 Even if the origin

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Self-Sabotage: The illusion of control

Self-sabotage doesn’t always look like dramatic failures or reckless choices. Sometimes, it’s more subtle—pulling away just when things are going well, procrastinating on something important, or convincing yourself that something won’t work out before it even has a chance. At its core, self-sabotage is often about one thing: control. Uncertainty can be uncomfortable, and when

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Words to avoid: “Well, what about when you …”

This is deflecting.Instead of staying with what’s being brought up, this phrase flips the focus to their behavior — dodging your own accountability. It might feel like self-protection in the moment, but deflecting shuts down honest, connected conversation. And ultimately, the relationship. Pause and ask yourself:✨ What feels uncomfortable right now? ✨ What part of

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The hidden meaning behind everyday frustrations

It’s easy to get caught up in small disagreements, like the way the toothpaste is squeezed or how the towels are folded. But often, these little things aren’t the real issue—they’re just the trigger. What’s really going on is something deeper, like feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected. The small irritations are usually a reflection of

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