JOT general

Read the signals: What your spouse’s reactions might be telling you

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Paying attention to changes in your spouse’s behavior and demeanor can reveal unspoken emotions and needs. Is she getting quieter? More anxious? Asking for extra support more often? Withdrawing? Becoming quicker to frustration? There could be many reasons for these changes—whether or not they’re directly related to you. Still, if you’re noticing these shifts in […]

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Asking for your spouse’s support: it’s not weakness, it’s co-regulation

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People are social beings, wired to seek connection, especially during stressful or emotional moments. Co-regulation is all about leaning on each other to stay calm and balanced when things get tough. Some people may feel like they need to handle everything themselves, but the truth is, we all need help sometimes. Sometimes, we just need

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The power of “Are you willing?” in conflict

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When faced with conflict or differing perspectives, asking, “Are you willing to [hear another perspective, think differently about this, see this from a different point of view]?” can be incredibly powerful. This question shifts the focus from winning an argument to fostering understanding. It encourages the other person to reflect on their openness to change

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“This is probably going to be a hard conversation, let’s speak about it anyway” 🌟

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Starting a hard conversation can feel daunting, but it’s often the first step toward growth. Saying, “This is probably going to be a hard conversation, let’s speak about it anyway,” helps set the tone for honesty. It acknowledges the challenge but also opens the door to facing it together. To prepare, it’s important to be

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In a conflict? It’s not about winning, it’s about understanding.

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When there is a conflict or difference of opinion, the goal shouldn’t be to prove the other person wrong. If the focus is on winning the argument, all that happens is that the other person gets defeated. And when someone feels defeated, they’re less likely to engage openly or do their best thinking about the

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“I’ll just stop talking instead of trying again to help you understand my feelings and needs”

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🥺”I’ve reached a point where I’m just too exhausted to keep telling you about my feelings and needs. It feels like every time I express myself, I’m dismissed. So, I’ll just stop talking. 🥺”While you might feel relieved that I’m not complaining or bringing up issues, my silence doesn’t mean I’m okay. It signals that

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Don’t plan, prepare: be ready for whatever comes your way

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When it comes to facing challenges or new experiences, it’s better to be prepared than to plan. Planning often involves setting specific goals, expectations and steps, which can lead to disappointment if things don’t go as expected. Preparation, on the other hand, is more of a mindset about being ready for whatever comes our way.

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