Everyone is unique and we think, process, react differently. We like different things. Some of it might be from upbringing or gender. Some of it is just personality, wiring, situational. Not better or worse. Just different. It is worthwhile to pay attention to each other’s styles. Pay attention so you can file it for when […]
Get to know each other’s styles. Read More »
Compromise usually comes out as a win-lose scenario; it means that someone wins and someone loses. Often in a relationship, we find ourselves compromising for our partner, always accommodating our partner. “All right, whatever you say.” “If that’s the way it has to be.” If one person is always compromising in this way, it will
Don’t compromise, negotiate. Read More »
We sometimes enter into a conflict with the goal to be right; our number one objective is to prove that the other person is wrong. Instead of working together, we are now competitors, working against each other. Even if you are proven to be right, the relationship loses. Being open to being wrong is a
Be willing to be wrong. Read More »
Some people withhold the truth (or even straight out lie) because they want to avoid some pain or discomfort. But without honesty, there can not be intimacy and closeness. Sometimes we are not open or honest because we want to avoid the pain that may come from the truth. Sometimes it is from trying to
Don’t avoid honesty to avoid discomfort. Read More »
Sometimes when you are in a situation it can be very difficult for you to see the whole picture. You only see your part. However, if you choose instead to see the drama unfold from the balcony view up high, you will be able to not only understand what is going on in front of
The Balcony Perspective: Getting the fuller picture. Read More »
Every successful habit is built with some failures along the way. When starting something new, you won’t get it right every time. Like a baby taking their first steps. But don’t give up after those first clumsy, awkward attempts or failures. Our success at adopting a new habit depends on our willingness to be bad
Get more comfortable with failure. Read More »
“Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.” ― Cal Newport Identify what matters to you individually, as a couple, as a family. Write down your passion statements. What really matters to you? What do you really want to do, and why do you really want to do it? What about that is
Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not. Read More »
Speak positively about your marriage. Often. Very often. To each other, to others, in public (appropriately). What we praise grows. Praise the time you’ve been together so far. Praise the life and home you have built together. Praise the tough times you’ve overcome together. The easy times. The happy times. Praise how your differences work
Speak positively about your marriage. Often. Read More »
Clarity determines the quality of your response to a situation. But too often in a stressful situation, we develop some sort of brain fog that impedes us from seeing the fullness of the situation and the possibilities and the long-term outcomes of knee-jerk reactions. It is hard to gain perspective when you are stressed. First,
How clearly we see determines how effectively we act in any situation. Read More »
Suppressing or withholding what is on your mind is counter to intimacy. It may be hard or uncomfortable to talk about it, but you probably should. If you say it with respect and tact, your spouse can probably handle the truth. If suppressing has become a pattern in your relationship, you can – and ought
Yes, I can handle the truth. Read More »
