PREPARE: Preparing for your successful marriage

Does family really matter when it comes to a shidduch?

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You may marry “into” a family, but you are not marrying “the” family. People should be assessed on their own merit. At the same time, it is important to know what to try to understand about the family’s role on the person themselves. What type of parenting or family life did they have? How have they dealt with adversity in their upbringing? And, how important is a close connection to your spouse’s family?

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Do I need therapy?

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While therapy is designed to deal with traumas and wounds from the past, coaching is focused on helping someone figure out what to do going forward. If you feel stuck in your dating, you might benefit from working with a coach. If you are struggling with a significant issue, you will benefit from working with a therapist.

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The person has a psychological illness – should I consider it?

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The question of whether to consider dating or marrying someone who has a psychological problem is one of the most difficult relationship matters. The consequences could be enormous, and there is also a great deal of confusion and fear surrounding this issue. The purpose of this article is to offer some clarity to help you to make a thoughtful decision as to what is in your best interest.

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I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up.

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Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If you have done things you should be ashamed of, not feeling guilt would be a bad thing. But if the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing.

I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up. Read More »

How addiction to pornography could be affecting your dating.

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Needless to say, this is a highly sensitive topic. We discuss how dating and pursuit of marriage is likely being impeded by an addiction to porn. The purpose here is to look at the ways that it complicates a person’s path towards forming a healthy relationship.

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I am attracted to smart people, is that a problem?

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Many people find something exhilarating about dating someone particularly smart. They find it easier to respect the person and take them seriously. They find the conversation is more stimulating and engaging. Where it gets complicated is when people also want – or more likely need – other features in their spouse which do not necessarily go hand-in-glove with intellectual brilliance.

I am attracted to smart people, is that a problem? Read More »

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