Some people see dating as looking to see if there is full agreement between the parties. The minute they hit upon some area of disagreement, they feel disappointed. Instead of raising their concern with their dating partner, they express their frustration to their parents, shadchan, coach, etc. Unless the gap is felt to be truly […]
Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for. Read More »
If you need to disclose sensitive information, it is important that you handle the process in a way that will cause the least damage. While each situation is clearly different, there are some common principles. It is advisable to give off a realistic portrayal of life from the outset and weave into that the factors
You’ve been dating someone for a few times. You’ve both shared about yourselves and know quite a bit about each other. And then you determine that this person is not for you, and you want to end the relationship. Remember, this is a vulnerable time for both of you. How you end the relationship should be done with dignity and respect – for both of your sakes.
End a shidduch with dignity. Read More »
The purpose of dating is not to confirm automatic full agreement on every topic. There is no reason to feel disappointed the minute there is some area of disagreement. Unless the gap is felt to be truly unbridgeable, these are exactly the issues that should be discussed while on the date in an open and honest manner. Negotiation and compromise are not bad words. They will be your best friend in marriage, and you might as well befriend them during dating.
Don’t avoid uncomfortable topics; that’s what dating is for. Read More »
People are often encouraged to make a list of criteria to guide the search process. Without question, this is necessary and important, because how else can someone know who may be suitable for you.
Knowing yourself, so that you know who to marry Read More »
It would be more advisable to give off a more realistic portrayal of life from the outset, and weave into that the factors that will make your weakness seem less threatening. You can provide context of your life that will make it easy for your date to see how you deal with and manage your issue.
I have sensitive information to reveal: how can I do this while causing least damage? Read More »
While therapy is designed to deal with traumas and wounds from the past, coaching is focused on helping someone figure out what to do going forward. If you feel stuck in your dating, you might benefit from working with a coach. If you are struggling with a significant issue, you will benefit from working with a therapist.
Do I need therapy? Read More »
Guilt is a healthy response as a reaction to the past, yet it is a dysfunctional response to our posture for the future. If you have done things you should be ashamed of, not feeling guilt would be a bad thing. But if the guilt is undermining your confidence in your ability to move forward in your life, it is a really bad thing.
I did things in the past that I am now ashamed of; the guilt is eating me up. Read More »
Many people find something exhilarating about dating someone particularly smart. They find it easier to respect the person and take them seriously. They find the conversation is more stimulating and engaging. Where it gets complicated is when people also want – or more likely need – other features in their spouse which do not necessarily go hand-in-glove with intellectual brilliance.
I am attracted to smart people, is that a problem? Read More »
We would all like to be relaxed and in control, but sometimes people get caught up in worries that lead to behaviors that others find challenging and which end up producing poor results.
How and why anxiety can get the better of you in dating. Read More »
