“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection

One of the key reasons people struggle with dating is: bonding, or building a connection. If connection doesn’t develop automatically and organically, it is still possible and necessary to nurture it. How? By saying and doing those things that trigger the same kinds of reactions that for most people happen naturally. Make it your business to ensure that your date feels better about herself for having spent some time in your company. This is especially true for people who are struggling to build connection.

Also, consider embracing more risk. Take a chance and be more open than you feel comfortable. Do things together that remove you from your familiar and comfortable spot. It activates parts of the brain that are associated with connection. Doing so is not going to make you comfortable. It’s not about you, but about the good of the relationship. Finally, be playful. Even if you are normally inclined to be quite serious, discover their inner child in order to develop a closer connection. Go some distance to lighten the mood. So, even if you are not the playful type and find playing games entirely unattractive, perhaps this is the one time you should do it anyway.

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