We get defensive when we want to protect ourselves – our ego, our self-image. We usually create some sort of barrier between ourselves and the other. And we simultaneously begin to perceive them as adversary. And we shut down to seeing their perspective and motivations. We see the situation only from our own perspective – […]
Defensiveness doesn’t help you in the situation. Read More »
The words we think in shape our emotions and thus our frame of mind. (And, it also impacts how you are perceived by others.) Think about the difference between feeling ‘overwhelmed” and feeling that you are “in demand”. Some others: “I choose to do this.” rather than “I have to do this.” “I get to
Choose empowering words to frame your situation. Read More »
There’s a huge problem when one spouse is setting up their behavior as the baseline of normalcy. If the other spouse’s actions or reactions deviate from this false baseline, then they deemed the abnormal one. There is no one ‘right’ way to do things. One of the best ways any spouse can love their partner
Neither you or your spouse gets to set the baseline of normalcy. Read More »
Also don’t say: “Don’t be so sensitive.” “You’re overreacting.” One of the worst things you can do is to tell someone how to feel. Telling someone to calm down is like saying that their emotional response to a situation is somehow wrong or invalid. They have the right to feel – and express – any
What not to say: “Calm down”, “Relax”, “Chill” Read More »
