A hurt is a hurt and needs healing – no matter if it was an accident or done on purpose. We must apologize for any hurt that we inflicted. If someone was physically hurt, their body needs to heal – no matter how they got hurt, no matter if it was done by accident or […]
Apologize. Even if you didn’t do it on purpose Read More »
Because your marriage is unique and individual, it is important that you create your own marriage culture for your shared life. With its own set of guidelines for relating, deciding, communicating, sharing responsibilities, etc. These should be set up as agreements between the two of you. –“We agree that we will have a discussion before
Agreements for your marriage. Read More »
Our words create our reality. Hearing oneself apologizing all the time can lead a person to start feeling bad about being themselves. Sometimes, it isn’t an apology that is in order, but rather some gratitude. Instead of “I’m sorry I’m always late”, say “Thank you for waiting for me.” Instead of “I’m sorry I always
Instead of “I’m sorry”, say “Thank you” Read More »
Life is stressful. We all have a lot going on. Lots on our plate, lots on our mind. And all that stress might get in the way of playfulness and intimacy. It might be impossible to totally put aside all of life to be playful together. You might think of it as a series of
How to get in a ‘playful mood’ together. Read More »
Name calling should never be part of your communication. Never. Find another way to express your feelings other than calling names. Even if something your spouse did or said was unwise or ineffective or brought negative repercussions, don’t ever resort to name calling. It attacks the other person. It damages the relationship. It won’t change
Name calling is hurtful. And it does not help anything. Ever. Read More »
So many of the arguments in marriage are around money. People have different values and priorities. Different ways of making financial decisions. Most of the money goes to joint expenses – household, children, tuition, bills. But then there are some discretionary choices of where to spend some money on little luxuries or comforts. Here is
Financial arrangements. Ours. Mine. Yours. Read More »
Throughout your marriage, you will need to make many decisions together – some bigger than others. It is worthwhile to plan how you work through decision making. You may determine that certain areas are the domain of one spouse and the other can provide input, but the ultimate decision is that spouse. For example: home
Create a decision-making plan Read More »
The better you know your spouse’s history – their upbringing, their schooling, their experiences – the better you can put their behaviors into context. And you can bring up your empathy. That is not to say that understanding where they come from is to excuse their bad behavior. But it does help you better understand
If you don’t love yourself, you aren’t really in a frame of mind to love others. It’s really that simple. You have to love yourself before you can give of yourself to someone else. So just start doing little things of self-love*. Right now; do not wait until you think you “deserve” it. (*For clarity:
Love yourself so you can love your spouse Read More »
Don’t take life so seriously all the time. Make time to laugh together. To do something goofy. Spontaneous. Irresponsible. Make some space in the busyness of your life for playing. If you are the spontaneous type, then just let serendipity reign. Or, you can create a list of things your’d like to try, just beyond
Add some playfulness into your marriage Read More »
