Reframe the problem with a more positive thought-provoking statement: “How might we…?” This encourages us to think creatively about solution generation. There is a lot of power in the word ‘might’. When we hear words like ‘can’ and ‘should’, there is some level of judging, and defenses go up. Thoughts like ‘can we really do […]
The “how might we…” power question Read More »
There is so much that is communicated through *non-verbal cues*: through your facial expressions, the tone and pitch of your voice, gestures displayed through your body language and the physical distance between the communicators. The timing and location that you choose for the conversation can also convey so much. Choosing a time that respects the
You communicate so much without saying anything. Read More »
Every emotion has degrees, from diminished to fiercely intense. Different words have different temperatures. Monitor your language and make sure your language isn’t minimizing or exaggerating the intensity of emotions. Match your words to the actual intensity of your emotions. –> Are you feeling blue, stressed, heartbroken, dejected, or depressed? –> Are you feeling satisfied,
Match your words to the intensity of your emotions Read More »
The idea is to get a better understanding of the work they do, particularly the parts that add to their exhaustion and stress. In this way, you can better appreciate and understand how they feel at the end of the day. And what kind of support they would most appreciate. To a spouse who leaves
Discuss your spouse’s day. Read More »
Your spouse wants to feel that you have their back. That you’d stick up for them in front of your parents and family. And their family. Anyone. As a married couple, you should put up a united front to hold each other’s dignity to the utmost. Defend your spouse. Call out the offender – respectfully,
Stick up for your spouse. Read More »
Say it aloud. And mean it. Go beyond the typical “you light up my life”. Share something true and unique to your marriage and spouse. Be specific. Add examples and memories. And in private. No need to splash it on social media.
Share “I’m so happy I married you because…” Read More »
Vulnerability is the courage to be yourself. Pull down your guard and allow your spouse in. Let them see your human and imperfect self. The more times you’re vulnerable, the stronger the bond. There is a certain intimacy of vulnerability that can become precious between you. Being vulnerable can be risky and thus scary; there
Open up. Be vulnerable. Read More »
You are a team of two individuals. Each with their own interests, talents and strengths. – Allow, better yet, ENCOURAGE your spouse to pursue their own interests, to be their own person. – Figure out how to budget for time and money (within reason, of course). – As applicable, obtain related resources or supplies. Share
Allow your spouse to pursue their interests. Read More »
When you and your spouse have different preferences on something, you could dig in your heals and insist on it going your way. But is that best for your marriage? *Sometimes, it makes more sense to yield to the preference of your spouse.* – Think about: – to whom does this matters more? – who
Go with your spouse’s preference. Read More »
“I am a better person because I am with you. You challenge and push me to do my best. You taught me to look at the world as …” – “You are a great teacher. I learned how to see problems as opportunities.”
Tell your spouse something you learned from them. Read More »
