Here are some activities that people have done during dating. The idea is not only to have a nice time together but to get to know each other from a different angle. Doing such activities together can give you insight that cannot be gleaned from conversations.
What to do on a date? Read More »
If you are not ready to get married, then you are not ready to date.
Do not say that ‘I may as well start dating because it will take me years until I find the right one’. Neither should you say, ‘I should start dating because that will help me figure myself out.’
Once you start dating, you should work with the assumption that this shiduch might very well be the ‘one’. You may just find that the first person you date is the one you want to marry.
So, are you ready to get married? Here are some things to really honestly think about. It might be worthwhile to review these questions with your mashpia or good friend who really knows you and can be forthcoming and honest.
Are you ready for marriage? Read More »
A resume/ profile highlights information about you. It is basically a snapshot of you. And it includes references.
Profiles, Resumes, Reference Sheets Read More »
The victim of bullying may find dating more difficult, and the one dating them will also be affected. There are two main effects of bullying: insecurity and unconfidence. Both impact dating.
When someone is insecure and lacking self-confidence, they keep their guard up; they are defensive and afraid to be vulnerable. They are afraid to trust others. This holds them back from sharing about themselves and building a relationship. They often lack the courage to make big steps, like getting into a relationship.
If your fears and anxieties are coming from events in your past, you must do everything possible to not let that harm your present and destroy your future.
If you see that you are struggling, it is important that you get input from someone with an understanding of effective dating. You may benefit from guidance from a dating coach or a wise shadchan.
How being bullied affects dating. Read More »
Attraction is a very personal thing. Clearly, there needs to be an attraction between two people for a shidduch to work out.
At the same time, attraction needs to be put in perspective of the marriage and lifelong compatibility. In the actual marriage, other factors are most likely going to play a much greater role. Shared values, empathy, generosity, stability all are elements that are crucial for successful marriage.
“I can’t help who I am attracted to” Read More »
Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.
Player Syndrome: How dating can be too much about fun. Read More »
When you have an interesting life, you will have so much more to speak about, and you’ll come across as an interesting person. Your dates will be more engaging and meaningful.
How to be more interesting. Read More »
Personal is not the same thing as private.
This might just be semantics, but they are two different types of questions. A private question addresses matters which are private. A personal question elicits an answer that is unique to that person.
It’s OK to ask personal questions on a first date. Read More »
An authentic comment will come across as meaningful, memorable, and make the person feel special. A good compliment is genuine, full, specific and unique.
How to give great compliments. Read More »
An authentic comment will come across as meaningful, memorable, and make the person feel special. A good compliment is genuine, full, specific and unique.
How to give great compliments. Read More »
