Too often, we assume we know what someone needs—advice, solutions, or maybe just space. But instead of guessing, try asking, “How can I support you right now?” This simple question shifts the focus from fixing to understanding. It allows the other person to define what feels helpful in the moment—whether that’s a listening ear, a […]
Words to Use: “How can I support you right now?” Read More »
Compliments are nice, but admiration goes deeper—especially in marriage. Instead of just saying “You’re amazing” or “Thanks for everything,” try “I admire how patient you were with the kids today” or “I admire how you handled that tough conversation with so much wisdom.” Rather than a general “You’re such a great spouse,” say “I admire
Words to Use: “I admire how you…” Read More »
This phrase is great when you want to offer a different nuance or perspective without dismissing what the other person just shared. It’s an invitation to introduce your viewpoint while being considerate of their feelings and perspective, without minimizing their experience. By asking permission, you show respect for their input and create space for a
Words to Use: “Can I share another version of that?” Read More »
Or similar: “What I’ve learned [that this topic is important to you].” Responding in this way allows you to validate your spouse’s feelings or concerns. It demonstrates that you’re processing what they’ve shared and giving it the weight it deserves. Even if you’re triggered by the conversation, focusing on the value of the information helps
“This is helpful to know.” Read More »
Or similar: “I agree we should talk about this.” When something triggers you, a calm and affirming response like these can help create space for a constructive conversation. First, you are acknowledging that the topic is worth discussing. You are showing your spouse that you’re listening and open to understanding their perspective, even if it
Words to Use: “I agree that this is worth discussing.” Read More »
“If it bothers you, it matters to me” or “I know we are each in charge of our own feelings, but yours matter to me.” These phrases are powerful in relationships because they validate your partner’s emotions and show empathy, even when you don’t fully understand or share their feelings. By acknowledging their experience, you
Words To Use: “If it bothers you, it matters to me” Read More »
The phrase “I think this is where we differ…” is a great way to acknowledge a disagreement without escalating conflict. It keeps the conversation respectful, showing that you recognize and respect the other person’s perspective while expressing your own. It’s a softer, more thoughtful approach to differences, opening the door for dialogue rather than argument.
Words To Use: “I think this is where we differ…” Read More »
When someone questions your decisions or perspectives, a helpful response is to say, “You are right, there are tradeoffs.” This simple phrase acknowledges the validity of the other person’s concerns without launching into a lengthy defense of your choices. It paves the way for constructive communication by validating their point of view and gently guiding
Words to Use: “You are right; there are tradeoffs.” Read More »
“I’ve noticed a change.” This phrase shows that you’re present, perceptive, and paying attention. People appreciate such connectedness and caring. Be specific about what you see. Invite them to respond. Make it easy for them to agree or clarify. “I’ve noticed a change in your enthusiasm for this upcoming trip. You are talking about it
Words to use: “I’ve noticed a change.” Read More »
“Thank you for letting me know.” When you use these words after someone shares bad news or negative feedback, you are showing that you are willing to grow, work with the situation or provide support. This builds trust and helps others feel comfortable to share honestly with you. “Thank you for letting me know that
Words to use: “Thank you for letting me know.” Read More »
