The phrase “I think this is where we differ…” is a great way to acknowledge a disagreement without escalating conflict. It keeps the conversation respectful, showing that you recognize and respect the other person’s perspective while expressing your own. It’s a softer, more thoughtful approach to differences, opening the door for dialogue rather than argument. […]
Words To Use: “I think this is where we differ…” Read More »
When someone questions your decisions or perspectives, a helpful response is to say, “You are right, there are tradeoffs.” This simple phrase acknowledges the validity of the other person’s concerns without launching into a lengthy defense of your choices. It paves the way for constructive communication by validating their point of view and gently guiding
Words to Use: “You are right; there are tradeoffs.” Read More »
“I’ve noticed a change.” This phrase shows that you’re present, perceptive, and paying attention. People appreciate such connectedness and caring. Be specific about what you see. Invite them to respond. Make it easy for them to agree or clarify. “I’ve noticed a change in your enthusiasm for this upcoming trip. You are talking about it
Words to use: “I’ve noticed a change.” Read More »
“Thank you for letting me know.” When you use these words after someone shares bad news or negative feedback, you are showing that you are willing to grow, work with the situation or provide support. This builds trust and helps others feel comfortable to share honestly with you. “Thank you for letting me know that
Words to use: “Thank you for letting me know.” Read More »
If you are upset about something, don’t let it fester. But then again, maybe you aren’t ready to talk about it. Say that. “I am upset, I need to gather my thoughts about this before I talk about it.” “I’m not ready to talk about it.” “I’m upset, and just want a little bit of
Words to Avoid: “I’m not mad.” Read More »
Often these words are said with anger or frustration. “Your [nagging/spending/ not being home]… It’s gotta stop.” While the request may be reasonable, it’s the tone and wording that make it hard for the other person to take in your perspective. Instead, use an “I statement” explaining your perspective and what you would like. “When
Words to Avoid: “It’s gotta stop.” Read More »
Or similarly, “How does it look to you?” “How do you feel about it?” Asking questions such as these invite the other person to share their perspective. They show you ae listening to them, to their experience, to their point of view. Discussions of perspective sharing can go a long way to collaborating and creating
Words to use: “What do you make of it?” Read More »
When you ask “What does [it] mean to you?” with genuine curiosity, you are seeking to get to know the other person a bit better. People can have varied thoughts and feelings about the same situation or experience. Similarly, words have different connotations for different people. “What does that award mean to you?” “What does
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This is a great question to ask when something didn’t pan out as you had expected or hoped. You can ask this question to yourself as a reflection question. You might think along the lines of “What can I tweak to get different results?” “What could I do to prevent this from happening in the
Words to use: “What could I have done differently?” Read More »
“If only [something was different in life], I’d be happy.” That is a defeatist, negative attitude. In reality, our circumstances and even genes are less consequential than our attitude. And that is good news. Because unlike our circumstances or our genes—over which we have little or no control—we can control our attitude. Attitude is a
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