JOT-Better Words

By asking “How’d you think to…,” you are showing that you are interested in learning more about the other person – their processes of how they came up with the idea or design or strategy. You are asking them to share more about themselves. This builds connection. Often, this type of conversation does more for

Or, “I’m wondering if there is another way of looking at this.”  When someone misinterprets your words or actions, instead of retorting with “You got it all wrong”, you can ask this question. * The idea is that there are so many possible explanations for something that was done or said. Too often, people interpret

“Everybody says that you … are crazy.” … are wrong here.” Or worse, “Nobody else does that.”Think about why you use this phrase or tactic. Are you trying to bully the other person?If you are upset about something, talk about it with respect – without bringing in other people into the conversation.(And, btw, how do

Apart from it being irritating on the receiving end, it is usually inaccurate. We don’t really know what people are thinking; we aren’t mind readers. And it usually isn’t in our best interest to make wild guesses. Often, people say this when they are anxious about something the other might say. Often, it is coming

Something you said or did was hurtful to the other person. By saying something like this, you are trying to evade your responsibility for hurting them. If you did do/say something that unintentionally hurt them, then this is an opportunity to learn something about a sensitivity they may have. (Worse, is it possible that you

It’s likely obvious that something is wrong. So, when you say “nothing,” you’re being passive-aggressive, and you make it seem like you’re afraid of bringing up something that could start a fight. That’s why you’re encouraging your partner to start one for you. Acting like nothing is wrong is a lose-lose situation that will lead

Or similar, “I got it.” Show your spouse that you notice that they need or want a break from all the tasks on their list. Being “all-capable” all the time can get a quite exhausting. So it’s a relief to have someone who understands and will take over matters.

This is classic passive-aggressive phrasing. This has an undertone that you really don’t think that you are wrong and that you are questioning the other person. That word, “but” negates everything before it. Instead, be more direct. “I may be wrong here. I am thinking that …” “Please correct me if I am wrong…” “I

You’re saying, “No matter what, you aren’t going to have to face the struggles and worries alone. I will look out for you and support you through thick and thin.” Being there for each other through those tough times can show your spouse just how much you care about each other and the bond between