So often we use judgment as a way of avoiding feeling some pain. We project outward what we don’t want to feel within. When we are feeling those feelings of shame and inadequacy, we project out that shame and inadequacy onto somebody else so that we don’t have to feel them. For many of us, […]
Judging others may be your way of protecting yourself from pain. Read More »
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Humans make mistakes. But if we simply apologize and carry on as before, we’re in danger of repeating the same errors. And certainly, there is no benefit from punishing ourselves for mistakes. Have compassion for yourself. When we don’t learn from
Frame mistakes as opportunities for growth. Read More »
Certain words can send us back to moments in our past that were hurtful and upsetting – highlighting some old insecurities. When you know what triggers you, you can be better prepared to recognize that those words are loaded for you and that it isn’t so much about what was just said. That alone can
Words can be time machines to the past. Read More »
People-pleasing is a way of trying to control our environments and other people. We are trying to get a certain outcome by doing something (or avoiding something). In other words, we are trying to manipulate the situation. When we are people-pleasing*, we are not sharing our authentic self, we are not giving feedback to the
People-pleasing is a form of manipulation. Read More »
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” ― Carrie Fisher Fear diminishes when we confront it. Doing it comes before it goes away. Doing whatever it is makes things better. Avoiding it doesn’t make
If what you have been doing is working anymore (or it never really worked in the first place), let it go. This applies to the way you’ve been trying to make your spouse change, nagging, food choices, budget plans, and so many other things. Do something different, anything different. Try something new. You may not
If it isn’t working, try something else. Read More »
In moments that seem overwhelming or stressful, ask yourself, “What if this was all OK?” What if this incident or situation really didn’t hold any threat over you or have any power over your happiness and peace of mind? Imagine that your safety is intact even while this is going on. In reality, all* is
“What if this was all OK?” Read More »
Want to accomplish more with your time? Stay hyper-focused on the task at hand. Don’t multi-task. If you are consistently fully engaged in whatever you are doing, with no distracting thoughts or activities, everything in your life is more vivid and interesting. You feel less stressed out by wandering thoughts, and you are more productive.
Success in Time – Maximizing from your Time. Read More »
Wounds can make us feel broken or that we need to be fixed. It’s a lie. We are always whole. Yes, we might have been wounded and subsequently developed some defense mechanisms (such as fear, aggression, avoidance, keeping ideas to ourselves, etc.) to help us cope. Those are masks and armor hiding our authentic selves;
You aren’t broken, and you don’t need fixing. Read More »
“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.” If you find yourself regretting your words from time to time, it is worthwhile to work on thinking before you speak. Actually, just acknowledging to yourself that you have a tendency to speak without thinking is a crucial first
“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” Read More »
