You can not be able control all the rude or dumb things people say and do. You can decide not to be distracted or controlled by them. You can’t control what others think of you. Even if you follow all of the “rules” and do everything “right”, how others respond to you is outside of […]
People say inappropriate things, leave that on them. Read More »
Disagreements are inevitable. But, there’s definitely a wrong way and a right way to present your own arguments.–Focus on facts and don’t make it personal. A respectful disagreement is one that prioritizes logic over your opinions and emotions about the situation. Staying to facts makes it clear that it isn’t personal. Focus on illustrating why
You don’t have to agree on everything, but you have to be respectful. Read More »
Consistently fan the sparks of positive feelings about your spouse. When a couple makes a full and conscious effort to notice things they like about each other and then express those out loud to each other, their relationship is enriched. Constantly look out for things that your spouse is getting right or doing well. Try
Look out for positives in your spouse. Read More »
Within every complaint, there is a request. It is important to be able to discern that request and not get caught up in the noise around it. Focus your energy on hearing what your partner is saying, or trying to say, and respond to that need.• A complaint about the garbage might really be about
Complaints are really a need or longing that is not happening. Read More »
We know that unreasonable expectations or the thoughts that expectations are not being met can lead to insecure feelings on the part of both of the couple. These can topple the relationship. It is also important to recognize that sometimes even reasonable expectations may not be met. It’s life and things happen. Your spouse may
Sometimes, even reasonable expectations may not be met. Read More »
Asking questions: The right questions can empower you. The wrong ones drag you down. “Why can’t I bring myself to do what I need to move forward?” Such a question is disempowering and will drag you down. Flip the question to a more positive one. “In what ways am I courageous?” Questions compel us to
Asking the right questions can empower you. Read More »
Letting go isn’t so much about courage to release the past. It is about having the wisdom and strength to embrace the present. There is a subtle but huge difference between giving up and letting go. It’s all in the mindset, the feelings about it and the intention. Letting go is a release of whatever
Letting go is putting the past in the past – where it actually is anyway. Read More »
So often we use judgment as a way of avoiding feeling some pain. We project outward what we don’t want to feel within. When we are feeling those feelings of shame and inadequacy, we project out that shame and inadequacy onto somebody else so that we don’t have to feel them. For many of us,
Judging others may be your way of protecting yourself from pain. Read More »
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Humans make mistakes. But if we simply apologize and carry on as before, we’re in danger of repeating the same errors. And certainly, there is no benefit from punishing ourselves for mistakes. Have compassion for yourself. When we don’t learn from
Frame mistakes as opportunities for growth. Read More »
Certain words can send us back to moments in our past that were hurtful and upsetting – highlighting some old insecurities. When you know what triggers you, you can be better prepared to recognize that those words are loaded for you and that it isn’t so much about what was just said. That alone can
Words can be time machines to the past. Read More »
