People-pleasing is a way of trying to control our environments and other people. We are trying to get a certain outcome by doing something (or avoiding something). In other words, we are trying to manipulate the situation. When we are people-pleasing*, we are not sharing our authentic self, we are not giving feedback to the […]
People-pleasing is a form of manipulation. Read More »
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” ― Carrie Fisher Fear diminishes when we confront it. Doing it comes before it goes away. Doing whatever it is makes things better. Avoiding it doesn’t make
If what you have been doing is working anymore (or it never really worked in the first place), let it go. This applies to the way you’ve been trying to make your spouse change, nagging, food choices, budget plans, and so many other things. Do something different, anything different. Try something new. You may not
If it isn’t working, try something else. Read More »
In moments that seem overwhelming or stressful, ask yourself, “What if this was all OK?” What if this incident or situation really didn’t hold any threat over you or have any power over your happiness and peace of mind? Imagine that your safety is intact even while this is going on. In reality, all* is
“What if this was all OK?” Read More »
Want to accomplish more with your time? Stay hyper-focused on the task at hand. Don’t multi-task. If you are consistently fully engaged in whatever you are doing, with no distracting thoughts or activities, everything in your life is more vivid and interesting. You feel less stressed out by wandering thoughts, and you are more productive.
Success in Time – Maximizing from your Time. Read More »
Wounds can make us feel broken or that we need to be fixed. It’s a lie. We are always whole. Yes, we might have been wounded and subsequently developed some defense mechanisms (such as fear, aggression, avoidance, keeping ideas to ourselves, etc.) to help us cope. Those are masks and armor hiding our authentic selves;
You aren’t broken, and you don’t need fixing. Read More »
“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.” If you find yourself regretting your words from time to time, it is worthwhile to work on thinking before you speak. Actually, just acknowledging to yourself that you have a tendency to speak without thinking is a crucial first
“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” Read More »
The 5 Second Rule (developed by Mel Robbins): The moment you feel yourself hesitate on something you know you should do, count 5-4-3-2-1 and then just do it. The premise is that if you don’t move in the first five seconds, your mental habits of overthinking, doubt and fear will take over. Those thoughts then
Change your life in 5 seconds. Read More »
Holding onto a past or a dream that is not your reality will drive you crazy. It wastes so much mental energy. And your time that could be spent on the reality that is your life. Radical acceptance is all about fully accepting your reality in situations that are beyond your control. This doesn’t mean
“Stress is caused by being ‘here’, but wanting to be ‘there’.” Read More »
Complaining never made anything better. Everyone has things in their lives that they wish were different (or better). But simply complaining for complaining’s sake doesn’t bring change. That’s whining. (Venting is different and should be done judiciously and with intention.) Complaining brings down the mood of everyone in the conversation – especially the complainer. If
Complaining isn’t a solution. Read More »
