“Sometimes we say ‘I can’t, I’m unable’. What we really mean is, ‘I won’t, I’m unwilling’. The secret to success is knowing the difference between the two.”-The Baal Shem Tov Let’s look at this from the context of an anxiety-ridden action, like asking for a raise. We may say, ” I can’t do it.” It’s […]
Your mindset matters: “Can’t” or “Won’t” Read More »
Many people don’t ask for help because they don’t want to come across as needy or not fully in control. They have attached a negative judgment to needing and asking for help. What follows is that you judge someone to whom you offer help. In other words, if you feel superior or gain some level
When you don’t ask for help, you are judging yourself Read More »
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov’s famous quote, כל העולם כולו גשר צר מאוד והעיקר לא לפחד כלל “The whole world is a very narrow bridge and the main thing is to have no fear at all” is a profound philosophy for life. So much of life can feel like a narrow bridge over a deep ravine
How to get across the very narrow bridge Read More »
Sometimes, it is just a request for information and there really isn’t nefarious intent. “Did you just use the credit card?” can simply mean that your spouse received a notification and wants to confirm that it isn’t fraud. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are checking into your shopping habits or disapproving of your purchase.
Sometimes, it’s just a question – with no ulterior motives Read More »
LORA is a good rule of thumb for dealing with situations. Listen. Take note of what is going on in the situation. Listen to learn, evaluate, and understand. Make sure your instinct isn’t to listen to confirm. Observe. Try to ascertain what and who is contributing to the situation. Also, think about what is your
LORA: Listen, Observe, Reflect, Act Read More »
There’s power in accepting what is. We don’t have to like what is. We just have to accept that “it is what it is.” It is our ego that holds us back from accepting. It is our ego that expected something else. It is our ego that tells us that we deserve something else. It
You can accept the unacceptable Read More »
The fear of making a mistake stems from the illusion of perfection. Perfectionism affects how someone thinks, behaves, and feels. And stops them from growing or making positive changes. Firstly, be realistic. Everyone gets something wrong sometimes. Nobody gets it right all the time. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Everyone. Change your doomsday thinking to curiosity.
Overcome your fear of making a mistake Read More »
We humans are wired (nurture or nature?) to notice the negative. A negative bias. We take the normal for granted. Negative experiences make it to our long-term memory faster than the more neutral or positive ones. But positive memories are the cornerstone to our happiness and even our identity. Therefore, it is worthwhile to do
Notice what didn’t go wrong today Read More »
A GREAT LIFE IS MADE OF GREAT MOMENTS It’s moments, not things, that make for a great life. A great life is made of lots of wonderful smaller moments. Some are magical surprises. But most are in your hands. It’s what you choose to do, how you choose to see the world around you, how
A great life is made of great moments Read More »
Many times, after learning something new (like attending a workshop about marriage), we are pumped and inspired about all the new things we ought to do. We might make a ‘to-do’ list of little tasks and projects to accomplish that new goal. Before making that ‘to-do’ list, think about your ‘to-be’ list. Who do I
‘To Do’ lists vs ‘To Be’ lists Read More »
