When you spouse has an idea or potential solution to a problem, seek to better understand the reasoning behind the idea before summarily dismissing it. Even if you don’t agree with it or see some drawbacks, first validate the idea. “Coming from that angle, it makes sense that you would think that way. ” “It […]
Tell your spouse that their idea is good or makes sense Read More »
Q: “I am dating Leah and she seems like a great girl. I heard some rumors about her family though she hasn’t said anything. Should I just assume that what I heard is just gossip from angry neighbors? I do want to get to the bottom of it. If I ask outright, Leah will be
When, Not If: Discussing Personal Issues on a Shidduch Date Read More »
For a relationship to be happy and healthy, you don’t always have to think alike. Each of you have your own perspectives and ideas based on your unique personalities and background. It is not possible that you will always think alike. It may be simpler if you did think alike, but then you’d be missing
Not ‘think alike’ rather ‘think together’ Read More »
3 Conversations you might have this week What types of surprises do you like or not like? What is something that you miss from your childhood? What is a healthy living habit you’d like to incorporate into your lives? What might help you jumpstart that and then maintain it? 2 Quotes to inspire you “Laughter
Adai Ad’s Weekly 3-2-1 [01/17/2021] Read More »
The metaphor, “the elephant in the room” refers to an obvious problem that is being ignored. You both know that there is an issue. Yet, neither is willing to talk about it. Or even admit it exists. Ignoring an obvious problem is a type of conflict avoidance strategy. People fear the stress and negativity that
Address the elephant in the room Read More »
Silence in a relationship? There are times in relationships when being silent is acceptable and even productive. For instance, a couple, or even just one partner, may take a thoughtful timeout from a heated argument to cool off or gather their thoughts. The timeout is mindful and there is an assumption or agreement that they
Silence is good sometimes; Silent treatment is never good Read More »
Your spouse has something important they want to share – an idea, a perspective, concern, confusion. Listen with curiosity. Listen with empathy. Listen to learn what is going on for them. Then make sure that you understood them. Summarize back in your own words “So what I heard/ understand is ….” and end with “Am
Words to Use: “Am I getting this right?” Read More »
In the busyness of life, we sometimes forget to notice how our lives are enriched by the people in our lives.Take the time to reflect on the many little ways that your life is enriched by your spouse. Write them down. You won’t get a complete list in one sitting, continuously add to the the
Thank your spouse for their role in how wonderful your life is Read More »
When you work through your budget together, determine an amount that each of you can each spend on miscellaneous items each month. This could be for things that each of you want, but don’t really need. Or that the other spouse doesn’t really understand. The idea is that these purchases (or donations?) can be made
Budget some money for Shalom Bayis Read More »
In your budget conversations, you will probably end up talking about your values, goals and priorities. This can help you know each other even better. The more honest and vulnerable you are, the better you will understand why you interact with money in the ways that you do. Making a simple budget together can bring
Talking about money can deepen your relationship Read More »
