April 2021

Clarity is Kindness

So much of conflict stems from a lack of clarity. Too often, we jump to conclusions about the other person’s intent – usually to the negative. Instead, pause and ask for clarity. “I’d like to check in and clear something up together.” This might be somewhat uncomfortable (at first), but avoiding the question brings lots […]

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Ask for help

Your spouse isn’t a mind reader. If you need support, you need to ask for it.  If you know what type of support you need, ask for it directly and clearly. It isn’t helpful to hint or wish.  Your spouse wants to support you; they just need to know what kind of support you are

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Do it for Two

If you’re going to get yourself a drink or snack, do it for two – get your spouse a drink too, or ask them if they’d like a drink. Getting a sweater – get your spouse one too. Whoever brushes their teeth first puts toothpaste on both of your toothbrushes (just an idea). These little

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Have a special ritual for your daily “goodbyes” and “hellos”.

For most couples, there’s the morning “goodbye” as you go on to your day and the “hello” after the day. Make those meaningful. As possible, actually say “good bye” to each other face to face. Add your own flair – a wink, smile, a quick note. Of course, you can add something special from time

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