Words are powerful; they can help, heal, hurt, harm. Words like “You make me feel special” or “What can I do to help?” can enrich a relationship. Of course, words said deliberately to hurt or belittle are damaging to a relationship. Certain words or phrases can be ‘triggering’ (for both good or bad) as they […]
Can you list your spouse’s trigger words? Read More »
As you create your schedule, don’t forget to put in some time for friends. Not necessarily every week, but often enough. In a healthy balance of friends and your own couple friendship. We all benefit from friendships. There are things that men feel comfortable sharing and doing only with other men. The same holds true
Make time for friends Read More »
Bantering or poking fun light-heartedly can be healthy for a relationship. Especially when it’s done in limits. And both are OK with it. Put yourself in your spouse’s place as you think about your bantering. Most important is how the one on the receiving end feels about what was said. While they may like this
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes when you banter. Read More »
If your partner is upset or quiet or down, don’t assume you know why. So often, assumptions are based on your own perspectives, not facts.If you’re upset or quiet or down, don’t assume your spouse knows why. No matter how connected you both may be, you’re not mind-readers.As soon as you assume that you understand
Assuming can damage a relationship. Read More »
We are all individual people with our own perspectives and view of our world. There will be differences. It is important to understand your spouse’s viewpoint. Be respectful of their opinion, even if it differs from your own. Try to put yourself in their shoes, and recognize that everyone has different experiences and beliefs that
Respect your differences. Read More »
Sometimes, we use the words ” I feel” when we have opinions, are evaluating the actions of others, or how we think others are acting toward us. When we share opinions, we’re speaking from our thoughts, not our emotions. We may be using the word ‘feel’, but we are not communicating how we actually feel.
“I feel”: How we misuse the words. Read More »
Thoughts and feelings are often used interchangeably. But they really are not the same. There really is a difference – a big difference. The words ‘I feel/ I am ‘ should only be used when followed by a true feeling, not a thought/ opinion. One way you could distinguish between the two is the words used
“I feel”: Are you sharing your feeling or your thought? Read More »
“I feel like/that” is a passive way to say, “I think that.” What we feel are emotions, such as “happy, excited, confused, concerned”. Yet, so often we use the word “feel” when we really mean “think”. “I feel like this isn’t going to end well” vs “I think this isn’t going to end well.” Hmm,
Stop saying “I feel like”. Read More »
Our minds have very little control over this world. Our mind can’t control the weather, other people, places and the things around us. When we worry, we are in a sense asking our mind to manipulate the world to make things go as we wish. But the mind just can’t do that. We worry and
Worrying is a waste of energy. Read More »
It’s the Law of Reciprocity. When we do something for someone else, they tend to reciprocate. When we’re generous, the other person is more likely to be generous toward us. When we genuinely want to understand the other’s point of view, they’ll more likely to want to understand yours. If the person we talk with
What you put out is (usually) what you get back. Read More »
