Stressed? Frustrated? Anxious? Something not going as you hoped? Studies have shown that telling ourselves to “Let it be” as opposed to “Let it go” helps us move on more successfully. The difference seems to be in the effort our mind thinks it will take. “Let it go” seems to require some ‘doing’ or action. […]
“Let it be” vs “Let it go”. Read More »
Often these words are said with anger or frustration. “Your [nagging/spending/ not being home]… It’s gotta stop.” While the request may be reasonable, it’s the tone and wording that make it hard for the other person to take in your perspective. Instead, use an “I statement” explaining your perspective and what you would like. “When
Words to Avoid: “It’s gotta stop.” Read More »
There are many times that we have different perspectives or different ideas of how things ought to be done. Sometimes, people agree to do something in a way that is different from what they really want. Just to avoid conflict or just shut down the conversation. “OK, fine! We’ll go to the airport 5 hours
Do not agree to do something you do not agree with. Read More »
Many times, what we are fighting about is not really what is bothering us. The words in our fighting or bickering may be about the dishes in the sink or the bill that wasn’t paid. Often, there is an underlying emotion – like insecurity or fear or sadness. It is important to talk about the
Instead of fighting, uncover & talk about the real issue. Read More »
Or similarly, “How does it look to you?” “How do you feel about it?” Asking questions such as these invite the other person to share their perspective. They show you ae listening to them, to their experience, to their point of view. Discussions of perspective sharing can go a long way to collaborating and creating
Words to use: “What do you make of it?” Read More »
Self-doubt when starting something new or during transitions is normal. We are about dive into something with which we don’t have much experience. So, it makes sense that we might have some uncomfortable feelings and fears. When we are in the throes of self-doubt, we often feel frozen or overwhelmed. At that point, our attention
Self-doubt helps us know what to work on. Read More »
Time takes time. There is no shortcut. Building a successful marriage relationship takes time. It is only with time that you learn the ebb and flow of your marriage. It takes time to know what makes each other tick, what you each like and dislike, how to make each other smile, how to pull the
Do you point out other people’s faults? Not necessarily directly to that person, but maybe just to the people around you. “Look at that guy…” “She looks so …” “Why does she do that?” So often that comes from our own smallness, and we are seeking to feel superior. It is an attempt to raise
We judge others harshly because we judge ourselves harshly. Read More »
Dr. Margo Neuberger talks about how family impacts marriage, about attachment styles and how you can have a successful marriage no matter your childhood and family dynamics. She also covers how to share about your family on a date.
How family impacts marriage Read More »
When you ask “What does [it] mean to you?” with genuine curiosity, you are seeking to get to know the other person a bit better. People can have varied thoughts and feelings about the same situation or experience. Similarly, words have different connotations for different people. “What does that award mean to you?” “What does
Words to use: “What does it mean to you” Read More »
