How do these words land on you: “I hear you”, “I understand you”? To some people, they mean the same thing. “I hear you”: Some people take that as the one saying those words is impatient or that they are not really trying to get your point and they want to jump in with their […]
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MATCH YOUR WORDS TO THE INTENSITY OF YOUR EMOTIONS. Every emotion has degrees, from diminished to fiercely intense. Different words have different temperatures. Monitor your language and make sure your language isn’t minimizing or exaggerating the intensity of emotions. Match your words to the actual intensity of your emotions. –> Are you feeling blue, stressed,
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Even though several words may be synonymous, they have different shades of meaning and connotations. Additionally, some words have different meanings to specific people. Some words don’t really convey much; they are very general. 🤔“It was a nice day.” Nice in what way? Fun, relaxed, good enough.🤔“I am so happy.” Are you excited or elated
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The common understanding of empathy is walking in someone else’s shoes. In reality, that takes some assuming of what is going on, which can lead to the distressed one not feeling seen or heard. Instead, we should be inquisitive, then validating and compassionate. Just as there are different love languages, similarly there are empathy languages.
What is your empathy language? Read More »
Curiosity is about asking “Why?” or “What might be a reason…?” “What might be going on?” instead of assuming. Curiosity opens our brain to new ways of looking at things and then to new ways of doing things. We seek to understand and then act from there. “What might be going on for child that
View the world through the lens of curiosity. Read More »
Our thoughts and beliefs drive our actions. If we have negative thoughts, we respond in an unproductive way. Thoughts like “I will never get this right,” can steal our energy and we give up. It can be helpful to convert that thought to a more positive one, “I am not good at this yet, but
Look for patterns in your negative thoughts. Read More »
There’s only one way to change: slowly, over time. While we may be anxious to be on the other side of the change, it just doesn’t happen that way. It can be frustrating, but once we recognize that there are no shortcuts, that it will take time and there will be setbacks, we become more
Change takes time. Read More »
Having an issue with someone? Ask yourself this question: “Do I have the same (or similar) issues with other people or only this specific person?” If it is just this one person, work through it together, or carefully extricate yourself from the situation or relationship. If you notice a pattern of how people behave towards
Issues with other people? Is it you or them? Read More »
Our lives need a healthy balance of ‘doing’ and ‘being’. Of course, there are lots of things we must ‘do’ – take care of the house and family, sleep, eat, work and so many other things. Long to-do lists where what counts is the outcome. But we must also make time to ‘be’. These are
Mix a little ‘being’ into the ‘doing’. Read More »
It’s common for people to use avoidance tactics when they don’t want to talk about something. Not talking about these things isn’t going to make them disappear. Putting off conversations can build resentment, making it even harder to address your issues over time. Accept that it will be hard. But don’t expect that it will
How to have difficult conversations with your spouse. Read More »
