Curiosity is about asking “Why?” or “What might be a reason…?” “What might be going on?” instead of assuming. Curiosity opens our brain to new ways of looking at things and then to new ways of doing things. We seek to understand and then act from there. “What might be going on for child that […]
View the world through the lens of curiosity. Read More »
Our thoughts and beliefs drive our actions. If we have negative thoughts, we respond in an unproductive way. Thoughts like “I will never get this right,” can steal our energy and we give up. It can be helpful to convert that thought to a more positive one, “I am not good at this yet, but
Look for patterns in your negative thoughts. Read More »
There’s only one way to change: slowly, over time. While we may be anxious to be on the other side of the change, it just doesn’t happen that way. It can be frustrating, but once we recognize that there are no shortcuts, that it will take time and there will be setbacks, we become more
Change takes time. Read More »
Having an issue with someone? Ask yourself this question: “Do I have the same (or similar) issues with other people or only this specific person?” If it is just this one person, work through it together, or carefully extricate yourself from the situation or relationship. If you notice a pattern of how people behave towards
Issues with other people? Is it you or them? Read More »
Our lives need a healthy balance of ‘doing’ and ‘being’. Of course, there are lots of things we must ‘do’ – take care of the house and family, sleep, eat, work and so many other things. Long to-do lists where what counts is the outcome. But we must also make time to ‘be’. These are
Mix a little ‘being’ into the ‘doing’. Read More »
It’s common for people to use avoidance tactics when they don’t want to talk about something. Not talking about these things isn’t going to make them disappear. Putting off conversations can build resentment, making it even harder to address your issues over time. Accept that it will be hard. But don’t expect that it will
How to have difficult conversations with your spouse. Read More »
You may have every ‘right’ to expect something from your spouse or someone else and so you constantly remind them to do it. But they consistently don’t do it or ignore your requests. And you remind them again. That’s nagging. And people don’t respond well to nagging. Such communication can come across as complaining, blaming
Nagging is in the ear of the beholder. Read More »
We are not talking about taunting or belittling. It’s that playful ribbing that creates bonding. It’s gently poking fun at personal quirks you find entertaining and endearing. Teasing is great because it shows that you really know your partner inside and out and that you love their greatest attributes and biggest flaws equally. Laughter and
What playful teasing can do for your relationship. Read More »
Things happen all the time. For example, your spouse comes home 2 hours later than they had said. It is really our thoughts that create our experience of that circumstance or event. We give meaning to whatever happened. “So inconsiderate.” or “They work so hard for our family.” Our feelings then follow those thoughts. Angry
Your thoughts create your results. Read More »
A Marriage Meeting can really solidify your marriage. This is a short (about 30 minutes) check-in where the two of you share appreciation, plan together and nip potential conflicts in the bud. This should be a scheduled weekly meeting (separate from date night or budget meetings). A half-hour is long enough to cover everything, but
Weekly marriage meetings keep you on track. Read More »
