Don’t take life so seriously all the time. Make time to laugh together. To do something goofy. Spontaneous. Irresponsible. Make some space in the busyness of your life for playing. If you are the spontaneous type, then just let serendipity reign. Or, you can create a list of things you’d like to try, just beyond […]
Add some playfulness into your marriage. Read More »
Instead of making an assumption or jumping to conclusions about something your spouse said or did, be curious. You’ll get a more accurate understanding of what is going on. And it will deepen your relationship.Curiosity leads to a deeper understanding of one another. Curiosity helps both of you grow. By asking and answering questions, you
Curiosity deepens your intimacy. Read More »
It’s inevitable. There will be some areas where the two of you will never agree. These are likely based on either fundamental differences in your personalities, or fundamental differences in your lifestyle needs. It’s how you see the world. These are problems that you will return to again and again. They will never be solved.
Every marriage has its perpetual problems. Read More »
Sometimes we get upset at the small stuff (like dishes in the sink). Really it’s about issues that are emotionally much deeper, like not feeling needed, appreciated, noticed, important, or securely attached. Everyone wants to feel loved, safe, and secure. We may not know how to express it, or even realize it is happening, so
It’s not the small stuff, it’s really bigger. Read More »
When we are going through a challenge or a transition, we need the support of others. Different people prefer different types of support. Know your style and seek it out. You may want different types of support from different people. And, this may change over time and depend on the situation. Similarly, when someone you
What kind of support do you want? Read More »
If you fill your head with positive thoughts, there won’t be any room left for negative ones. Every day, think of at least three good points about your spouse. Everyone has good in them. We just have to notice. Even negative behaviors can sometimes stem from positive traits, or have a positive side to them.
Emphasize your spouse’s good points. Read More »
There’s an old saying, “The checkbook and the calendar never lie.” The way we spend our time and money says a lot about what is important to us. It says something about our values. We can look at our calendar and credit card/ cashapp/zelle statements to give us a sobering picture of what we consider
The way we spend out time and money says a lot about what is important to us. Read More »
You are each unique and wonderful in your own ways. Don’t make it into a competition. You may prioritize being healthy, and your spouse doesn’t care as much. You may want to be involved in community work and your spouse would rather spend more time with the family. You may have certain ways of doing
Don’t compare your spouse to yourself. Read More »
Imagine a world where we don’t have to fully believe in ourselves before we were willing to try something. We can really do this if we live with a mindset of “Experiments never fail.” We would just do it, knowing that the first time(s) will most likely be awkward and maybe even difficult. That there
Experiments never fail. Read More »
The key to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. Not easy, but that simple. It’s a decision you can make. Things happen in our lives. It may seem that those circumstances inform our emotions. Really, those circumstances are neutral. They exist outside us; they do not define who we are and how
The key to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. Read More »
