Complaining is feedback, it is not criticizing. There is a place for complaints in a marriage. There will be issues or differences in every marriage, and there will always be a need for adjustments to be made – all through the life of a marriage. If these are unaddressed, they just pile up until the […]
Getting your spouse to finally hear your complaints – part 1 Read More »
Why we sometimes get annoyed by people’s goodness. Sometimes, someone does a kindness for us (or for others) and we get negatively charged. Our spouse or friend brings us a small gift or does something nice for us, and we respond with “It’s so nice, but you shouldn’t have spent the money”. Or someone calls
Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Part 5 Read More »
Our relationships and interactions with all people, even strangers, tell us so much about ourselves. It is worthwhile to tune into the emotions that come up in those relationships. Our spouse might ask for something, like an omelet with lots of veggies or a massage or to go someplace for a daytrip. Nothing too big.
Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Part 4 Read More »
Our relationships reflect to us what we can change in ourselves – and that can enhance our relationships. So often, there is something that our spouse does (or doesn’t do) that grates on us, that raises a negative emotion. The other person is just a mirror of ourselves – our strengths, limitations, beliefs, traits, etc.
Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Part 3 Read More »
What we feel from others may reflect how we treat ourselves or what we believe about ourselves. To a large degree, we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. If we feel that our spouse ignores our needs, it might be that we are neglecting our own needs.If we feel that
Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Part 2 Read More »
We view the world through the lens of ourselves. Fact. What follows then is that what we see in other people and experiences tells us something about ourselves – our experiences, our values, our beliefs. When we observe in others a trait that we admire – like, integrity, healthy living choices, sense of humor –
Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves. Part 1 Read More »
Too often, we hope our spouse (or kids) will just know what it is we want. Instead of asking directly for what we want, we either hope or hint at it. But they just don’t pick up on it. Then we get annoyed and become critical. We hope or hint that we want a glass
Don’t hint or hope. Ask directly. Read More »
People can have two very different experiences of the same event. We are in the same room, and one is cold and one is hot. Two experiences in the same room.We are at the same party, and one is tired and one wants to party on.We are at the same lecture, and one is bored
I feel. You feel. We don’t feel the same. Read More »
Does your spouse wash the dishes in the wrong way? Do they know that? There really is no one right way to wash the dishes. It just might be that you have different ideas about how and when to wash the dishes. Neither of you is right or wrong; it’s your expectation that is the
More conversation, less frustration. Read More »
Stressed? Frustrated? Anxious? Something not going as you hoped? Studies have shown that telling ourselves to “Let it be” as opposed to “Let it go” helps us move on more successfully. The difference seems to be in the effort our mind thinks it will take. “Let it go” seems to require some ‘doing’ or action.
“Let it be” vs “Let it go”. Read More »
