“Playing small” is when we dismiss what we truly want in life in order to maintain a present-moment – short-term, temporary – illusion of comfort, security, acceptance, or control. Such actions are motivated by our fears, insecurities, low self-worth, and scarcity. It’s impulsive, reactive — and often frantic. By contrast, “playing big” means we’re willing […]
Humor is such a powerful (yet underrated) trait. Humor can really help you get through some tough times. Humor relieves tension during crises. It lightens the mood and puts people at ease; when there’s tension in the room, humor helps you and the others to relax, think more clearly, and make better decisions. Humor softens
Laugh your way through a problem Read More »
A “Superman” or “Wonder Woman” persona can be alienating in relationships. It puts a wall between you and other people – making you seem untouchable and unrelatable. Vulnerability is crucial for intimacy. Vulnerability is not weak, rather it is the greatest form of courage. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as “the willingness to show up and
Vulnerability makes you human. Read More »
When you live by your strengths and passions, you accomplish more and are happier. How to discover your hidden strengths: Ask yourself these questions. Use lots of details to really paint a picture. Write down your answers. It can be helpful to do this with a caring friend or your spouse. What are you proud
Live by your strengths. Read More »
While ultimately the goal is to have a better future, the process of getting there can make a huge difference. In the problem-solving model, we often get stuck by thinking and talking about a situation in a problem-focused way, paying much attention to the (causes in the) unwanted past. This can be demoralizing, and then
Not problem-solving, rather solution-finding. Read More »
What you give attention to will grow. Give positive reinforcement to what is working, and withhold attention from aspects that don’t work well. Think and talk about the positive in a situation rather than focus on what is wrong. You want the positivity to grow, not the negative aspects.
Water the flowers, not the weeds. Read More »
There are times that some people want to show off to others that they are savvy or smart. In this quest of trying to portray themselves as superior, they might bully, belittle another, or scam another person. Just to get boasting rights. Such people typically have low self-esteem. Feeling small, they seek to make themselves
When hurt people hurt you, empathize. Read More »
Do you (sometimes) redirect a negative emotion that belongs in one situation to someone else? Did your boss/friend/colleague/ stranger say something upsetting and you let out that frustration on your spouse/child? That is displacing, a psychological defense mechanism that many of us develop to deal with difficult emotions. Instead of dealing with the stressful situation
Are you displacing your negative emotions? Read More »
Running away from any problem only increases the distance from the solution. In many cases, if you do not face your problems and you turn the other way, you are just avoiding them and over time they will pile up and cause you a huge amount of stress. And subconsciously, you may feel bad about
The easiest way to escape from the problem is to solve it. Read More »
Really, nobody has it all together. Life isn’t always rosy and simple. Everyone has something going on. Sometimes bigger, sometimes smaller. Sometimes overwhelming, sometimes more manageable. There are unexpected events, delays, setbacks, unmet dreams, or goals. Heartache, back luck, breakdowns, struggles, challenges. And lots of ‘I could have done without that.’ Nobody shares every part
Nobody has it all together all of the time. Read More »
