Being grateful builds your positivity – in life in general and in your marriage. Make it a daily ritual to share 2 things for which you are grateful. Sometimes, it can be something for which you are grateful to your spouse. Also include all kinds of other things in your life, big and tiny. “I […]
Daily exercise: Share something you are grateful for Read More »
If it seems to you that your spouse is stressed or concerned or not their usual self, notice and say something. Don’t just hope and assume that it will resolve itself. Ask – with care and concern, “I’m noticing that [you are more quiet] in the last few days. What is going on for you?”
Be the support your spouse needs Read More »
It is important to include your spouse in important decisions. You are equals and interdependent in the relationship and each of your perspectives are important. Ask, don’t tell. Especially if you want your spouse to be a willing participant. Ask: “What do you think about …?” “What do you say about ….” “What are your
It is so important to laugh. Often. Life gives us lots to laugh about. If we choose to see the humor in the chaos. Humor is the capacity to perceive, appreciate, or express what is funny, amusing, ludicrous, etc. in any situation. If you look closely enough, there is a certain amount of humor in
Laugh together. Stay together. Read More »
Sit in your spouse’s chair (metaphorically). Try to understand why they did whatever it is that they did that is triggering a negative reaction in you. Try to look at the situation, problem or argument from their point of view. Try to see what might have been going on for them right before the incident,
Sit in your spouse’s chair to understand their perspective Read More »
We each have different ways that we prefer to take in and share information – our communication style. It is worthwhile to learn each other’s styles so you can tailor and individualize your messages so that they are best understood and received. And you will also have a better understanding about why others engage in
Learn each other’s communication styles Read More »
As humans, we are meaning making machines. We make up stories to make sense of the world around us. We give meaning to the facts that happen around us. A fact is an objective truth. For example: the driver in that car just drove really closely to my car as they went in front of
The difference between facts and the meaning we give to those facts Read More »
Having expectations leads to disappointment when those are not met. Even more so when there is an exact expectation. “My spouse knows exactly what I want for my birthday and I didn’t get that from them. I’m so angry at them.” “My spouse should know that they should be doing [that] for the family (or
Widen your expectations and expand your world Read More »
When we are curious, we view tough situations more creatively. Creativity is so powerful because it enables us to lean into uncertainty with a positive attitude – relaxing and opening our minds to new ideas, skills, and ways of solving problems. Curiosity opens us to generate and accept alternatives. When our curiosity is piqued, we
Be curious and you’ll resolve more creatively Read More »
Think of the little and big things that your spouse brings to your life and family. Thank them. With a full gratitude. Don’t anything for granted, as if it is their job. When you are gracious in your thinking, you will think of lots of things to be grateful for. “Thank you for taking care
Thank your spouse often Read More »
