If you are unsure about something, just ask: “What do you mean by that?” Then check back to see if you really got what the other person meant. Allow the other to clarify. “So what I understand is …. Did I get that right?” NOTE: There is a huge difference between “So what you are […]
Do not keep replaying the offense in your mind. Do not dwell on your hurt feelings or pain. Release the person from your judgment. Consciously, decide to forgive them. Though you may not be able to forget what happened, you can make the decision not to dwell on past offenses. You if you put too
Forgiving is not forgetting. It is changing how you think about the hurt. Read More »
When you reach out to friends or others for support for something in your marriage, be very careful who you choose to talk to. And how you share what is going on. Your role is to describe it OBJECTIVELY as you can. For your sake. For the sake of your marriage. Many times, in the
To get useful support from friends, share as objectively as possible. Read More »
Your body sensations tell you what is going on for you. Different emotions are felt differently in your body. Think about how your body feels when you are anxious and when you calm. Scientists have researched and created HeatMaps that show where in the body different emotions are felt. Love is felt as warmth all
Pay attention to your body. It tells you about your feelings. Read More »
Successful marriages have two qualities in common even though the marriages themselves are as diverse as the couples in them: acceptance and faith. The honeymoon ends when the spouse in question (always the other spouse) does something thoroughly inexplicable and totally at odds with the logic of the judging spouse. Something that (try as they
Acceptance and faith. Keys for marriage. Read More »
On Shavuos, the anniversary of our ‘marriage to Hashem’, we renew and reenergize our relationship with Hashem and the Torah. When we first received the Torah, we declared “We will do and we will listen (to understand).” We committed ourselves to the relationship. Unconditionally. The same concept applies to our marriage with our spouse: We
Doing for your spouse. Listening to your spouse. Read More »
(According to the sages, Matan Torah is closely associated with the number 3. see more below) There’s a He and a She in every marriage. Two separate entities creating a third entity – the We – the unity, the marriage. What truly makes them a unit is not renouncing one’s self or losing one’s identity
3 entities in the marriage. He. She. We. Read More »
The Torah was given on Mt. Sinai, a low mountain. The lowness teaches us the importance of humility. The fact that it was a mountain and not flatlands or a valley teaches us to have pride – not arrogance – and self-assuredness. Both, in tandem, are important for a productive Torah life, as well as
Mt. Sinai. Humble. Proud. Read More »
When someone hears, “What do you have planned for tomorrow?” they are probably thinking “what is it that you are really asking?” Eventually you are going to come out with the real question, you may as well get to it from the very beginning, and avoid the ambiguity and discomfort. –>”I’m thinking that tomorrow, I’d
Ask the real question. Read More »
Literal Definition: Kingship In Other Words: Leadership. Nobility. Aristocracy. Dignity. Authority, Power. Royalty. EXPRESSIONS of Malchus – Malchus is about being a leader – in words, behavior and attitude – in your personal life and in everything you do. – Living a life of actualizing goals and plans. Keeping the best interest of others as
Malchus (Sefira: Week 7) Read More »
