Ignoring the mess doesn’t make it less of a mess. Neither does denial. Neither does wishing it away or hoping that someone else will take care of it. It doesn’t just get clean by itself. (‘Just point and junk disappears’ is just a marketing ploy from a junk removal company.) It may seem overwhelming. But […]
The mess won’t go away unless you do something about it. Read More »
There are so many tools and methods for cleaning. *Using the right tools can make the job so much easier and more effective.* The right sponge, scrubber or spray cleaner. Don’t just ‘make do’ with whatever tools you have at hand. It is worth investing in getting the best tool for the task. And once
Use the best tools for the job. Read More »
Sometimes the project is so big, we don’t know what steps to take to get us there. The goal can seem overwhelming; we may feel we don’t have the know-how, time or the resources. Or we don’t see what steps we can take to get ourselves there. Oftentimes, this is because we set unrealistic expectations
Progress, not perfection. Read More »
Thinking about all that needs to be done before Pesach can be overwhelming, and thus demotivating. So many areas need to be tackled. When we start small, we can plan early successes that will inspire us and motivate us and encourage us to keep going. Start with one manageable corner, a small closet, a drawer.
Start with something small so you see some success quickly. Read More »
Most likely, people are not going to just see your need and offer to it on their own. If you want assistance in doing something, just ask. Don’t wish or hope they’ll volunteer. Don’t hint at it. That just leads to disappointment. Ask outright.
You want help? Just ask. Read More »
When mess and chaos happen (and it’s Purim, so something will happen), you can choose your response. You can stress. Or you can laugh first, and then deal with it. Later. After a good laugh.
Mess? Chaos? Laugh first, and then deal. Read More »
When your spouse expresses their upset at something you did or didn’t do, stick to the present topic; don’t bring up the past. Don’t bring the wonderful things you’ve done in the past. They aren’t necessarily relevant to the current situation. A: “Why are you angry?” B: “Because when I ask you to drive me
Don’t bring up the past. Read More »
When your spouse shares negative feedback, a complaint, listen fully. No matter how hard it is to hear it. *Even if your spouse is sharing complaints about something you have or haven’t done, try to remain focused on what they are sharing and not on preparing a response or retort to what they have shared.*
Accept negative feedback with interest and respect Read More »
‘No’ is an acceptable answer. If you ask something of your spouse, “no” has to be an acceptable response. You cannot demand, sulk, be passive-aggressive or try to convince or manipulate.
Accept a “no” answer Read More »
During stressful times, some people become emotional, controlling, and close-minded. This can have a negative impact on everyone around. When stress does come – and it will from time to time – think about the family and relationship dynamic you want, and if your stress-driven actions support that. You wouldn’t threaten or blame in calm
Be the same spouse in stressful times as in calm times. Read More »
