Your spouse wants to try something new – a diet, a side hustle business, whatever. Of course, you want to show your support, but don’t overdo it. Don’t take over. – Show that you believe that they are fully capable of making good choices and succeeding. Don’t jump in with your own ideas, unless you […]
Be your spouse’s cheerleader from the sidelines Read More »
They need to be reassured that you still think they are wonderful, even if the rest of the world doesn’t. • Show that you are on the same team against the problem. Running into a financial setback? cut back on some luxuries. Stick up for your spouse if someone has rejected them, insulted them, etc.
Encourage your spouse when they feel down Read More »
Is it possible that you are unintentionally ‘parenting’ your spouse – i.e. doing for them because you think they can’t do it right on their own? Of course, spouses do for each other. And not because they expect to get anything back. But if you are doing it because you think that they can’t do
Stop doing so much for your spouse Read More »
“Supportive” means different things to different people. There are 4 general ways of support: • physical comfort and emotional support – listening and empathizing, taking your spouse’s hand, giving your spouse a hug • esteem support – expressing confidence in your partner, providing encouragement • informational support – giving advice, gathering information • tangible support
Support your spouse in the way they want support Read More »
It doesn’t matter how much you love someone. What matters is that they know it. The things we feel about one another so often go unexpressed, because we’re busy or thoughtless. Or, because we assume they know. Or, because we want to express it in the most perfect way, so we keep thinking about how
It’s not enough to love in your heart; they have to know it. Read More »
Hallmark, jewelers, chocolatiers and thousands of other marketers are telling us what gifts we ought to be wanting and giving to show our love. But those may not be what your spouse wants at all. Expressing love is about the other, so do it their way. Your spouse is unique and may have unique and
Love them in the way they prefer – even if you don’t understand it. Read More »
Help your spouse see and understand your thought process as you come to your decisions. Explain the criteria you consider. How you think about who else may be impacted by the decision. Talk about any risks and trade-offs you assess. Share your priorities, values, fears, goals, dreams and how those all fit into your thought
Make your thinking visible. Read More »
Softer, gentle language is better received by others. You can get the same message across with a softer tone. The conversation stays focused on the topic and doesn’t get argumentative because of unfortunate choice of words. Use ‘I statements’. “When _____, I feel ______” Choose words that foster collaboration rather than defensiveness or defiance. “How
Use gentler words for productive discussions. Read More »
Start each morning fresh – a new opportunity for developing and deepening your relationship. Leave the past in the past and let every day be a clean slate between you and your spouse. Accept that we all have bad days or some things don’t come out as intended. Forget, forgive and start fresh. Even if
Press the ‘reset’ button every morning. Read More »
It is important to have a shared vision to guide you as you navigate life. Your vision gives you a shared sense of purpose that you can work on together, as a team. The word division is made up of two parts. The prefix di means “two.” So the word division means “two visions.”
Have a shared vision; if you have two separate visions, then you have division. Read More »
