Every choice you make is like a seesaw; when you say “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to another. For example, if you are saying ‘yes’ to helping someone, you are saying ‘no’ to using that time for yourself. If you are saying ‘yes’ to working more hours, you are saying ‘no’ to […]
The ‘Yes-No’ balance Read More »
Men and women feel stress differently and manage stress differently as well. To generalize, women reach out to others when stressed, and men seek escape. Women will seek support and want to talk about it to lower their anxiety. Men repress their feelings and might change the subject. The key is to understand the difference
Men and women deal with stress differently Read More »
Asking for forgiveness places control in the other person’s hands, since he/she doesn’t have to forgive you just because you’ve apologized. Note: There is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. Words you might use: “I care about you a lot. Will you please forgive me?” – “I know it might take you
Request forgiveness. Read More »
How you accept an apology from your spouse will impact if you will get apologies in the future; after all, arguments and injuries are inevitable in a marriage. Accept the apology gracefully. If you make it hard to apologize, your spouse will be less forthcoming in the future. Accepting the apology gracefully and forgiving is
Accept an apology gracefully Read More »
A heartfelt apology includes REMORSE. Remorse comes from true empathy for the pain the other person is feeling because of your actions. Remorse is different from feeling regret. Regret has to do with wishing you hadn’t taken a particular action or said something. You may regret an action because it hurt someone else, but you
Don’t ruin an apology with an excuse. Read More »
It is about seeing that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the result as you do. – Accommodating is not an act of weakness; it demonstrates that you care for someone – beyond yourself. – Accommodating doesn’t mean that you are wrong and someone is right. It only means
Put your marriage first. Adjust and accommodate. Read More »
In-law jokes aside, this is a serious topic. The parents who raised your spouse want to continue a loving relationship with their adult child – even if they are no longer living in the same home, even if they are married. Of course, the relationship has changed. Their adult child spends more time and energy
Respect your spouse’s parents Read More »
You know you have to bring up a difficult topic. In addition to thinking about the issue and the words you will choose when talking about it, it is important to think about when and where to have the discussion. If you are going to your spouse about a problem (that you have with them),
Know when and where to have tough conversations Read More »
Are you tuned-in to when your spouse needs some free time to him/herself? As much as we love our family, most people still need some time alone. This is time to connect with one’s self to reenergize and regroup. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SPOUSE: does s/he need some time to catch up on stuff or
Give the gift of your time Read More »
“[There is] a time to remain silent and a time to speak” (Koheles 3:7) “Rabbi Shimon the son of Elazar would say: Do not appease your friend at the height of his anger ” (Avos 4:18) – A TIME-OUT IS ABOUT AVOIDING DAMAGE TO THE RELATIONSHIP. A time-out is from the issue – not the
