Changing a habit is hard. It can be easier if you have support. Discuss the habit you’d like to change and ask for your spouse’s support. Describe CLEARLY what you would like from them. By showing them that you need them, you show that they add value to your life. — “I really want to […]
Ask for support in changing a habit. Read More »
I learned this the hard way. I have a hard drive. I have a back up system. But I didn’t use either consistently or recently. And so when my laptop died – dead, dead – I lost a lot of my work. And I learned a huge life lesson. I actually have to use the
You can’t just buy the hard drive, you actually have to use it. Read More »
Ever run out of something you need? You know that frustration. Because you care for your spouse, you would like to help them avoid that frustration. Buy something that they are about to run out of. Favorite hand cream, coffee, snacks, paper, stamps. Or at the very least, remind them that it is running low
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Surprise your spouse with something unexpected. Out of nowhere. – “I was thinking of you today (like every day) and I remembered that when we just got married you used to like to [walk along the water’s edge/ go to the bookstore/whatever]. Let’s plan for that sometime this week.” “I know you like to put
If you find yourself stressed or annoyed or bothered by something, it might be worthwhile to reframe the issue by thinking if it will matter in five years from now. If yes, then do something about it. If not, let it go.
If it won’t matter in 5 years, let it go now. Read More »
Do it because you love and care about your spouse. Not for reciprocation or out of guilt or obligation. Just because you want to make a tiny part of their life easier or better. – Choose your clothing the night before so you don’t wake your spouse in the morning with opening and closing doors
Do something that your spouse will never know about Read More »
Of course, you thanked your spouse when you first received the gift. It is nice to hear it again from time to time. Possibly, even more meaningful, because it comes out of the blue. – Wearing a scarf your spouse gave you? Just mention it. “This is a great scarf you bought me.” Using something
Thank again for a gift Read More »
Keep track of potential “gifts” and make a wish list for them. All it takes is listening, and adding it to a running list in your phone. When they share about something they’d love to have or something that would make life easier or better, add it to the wish list. (For super techy people,
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Do something that your spouse hates to do, but it just needs to get done so they do it. Like cleaning the bathroom, or filling the car. Or changing the lightbulb. And, don’t make a big deal about the fact you did it.
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One evening when you can’t get out, plan for your next dates. Create a list of things that you would like to do when you can go out. (Ideally on a shared Google document so you can each add to it as a new idea comes to you.) Start with places and activities that you
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