You will have conflicts from time to time. You will see things differently from others. It isn’t about having the other person see things in your way, or bringing them over to your way. Rather, good, healthy disagreement leads to eye-opening discussions, growth, and potentially more closeness. In a healthy disagreement, people learn, explore, […]
Healthy conflict can lead to growth. Read More »
If you want to change something in your life, stop labeling yourself with a label that perpetuates the cycle you’re trying to break. Stop thoughts such as “I’m a procrastinator”, “I’m a perfectionist”, “I’m not a morning person”. Acknowledging habits or preferences that aren’t serving us is a really important first step in change. But
Stop labeling yourself. Read More »
Does this ever happen to you? Your spouse/friend does something nice and you come up with all sorts of explanations about their intentions. How we attribute others’ behavior can make a huge difference. Your spouse gives you a lovely little gift one random day. You wonder what is the reason. There are so many ways
Positive attributions: Key for life satisfaction. Read More »
So much of how we think about things is our own interpretation or explanation of what happened. We are trying to make sense of what happened. Our approach to making these attributions in our marriage influences how we feel about that the relationship, and ultimately impacts our words and interactions. Whatever happened is a fact.
Assume good intention. Read More »
Give your thoughts a name. So often, unhelpful thoughts (or stories) flit through our minds. Usually, the same ones over and over again. These thoughts can easily pull us into worrying, ruminating or ‘analysis paralysis’. While it may be natural to have these thoughts, they can be debilitating. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously. Name
Give your thoughts a name, and then dismiss them. Read More »
Sometimes when we have a big challenge that needs us to do some hard work to resolve, we tend to stay stuck by ruminating, worrying, fantasizing, plotting revenge, or some other type of unworkable behavior that doesn’t resolve the issue at all. So why do we do this? We do things for the payoff, something
Want to overcome a bad habit? Think of the payoffs and tradeoffs. Read More »
Think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for all involved. How might this person think about the disagreement? How might they find the good that could be in the situation? This is not always so easy to do in the moment of disagreement. It is worthwhile
Think of a conflict from the perspective of a neutral third party. Read More »
Too often, we expect that others will treat us in a certain way, and then set ourselves up for disappointment when our expectations aren’t met. We assume that most people think and behave similarly to us. So, if we are the kind of person who gives little random gifts, we expect the same to be
We set ourselves up for disappointment when we expect others to behave as we would. Read More »
Whatever your dilemma, you’re already making a choice. There’s actually no way not to choose. Each day you continue doing what you are doing, you are choosing not to do something new. Each day that you don’t quit your job that is life-sucking, you are choosing to stay. Until you seek the right support, you
Whatever your dilemma, you’re already making a choice. Read More »
