Question your emotions: If you think you’re feeling angry, ask yourself what two other emotions you might be feeling* (perhaps frustration and disappointment). Then consider why you’re feeling that way. *You might find the Feelings Wheel (http://feelingswheel.com/) to be a helpful tool to find a more accurate and nuanced description of your emotions. — Emotions […]
Expand your emotional awareness (and vocabulary) Read More »
We are not talking about taunting or belittling. It’s that playful ribbing that creates bonding. It’s gently poking fun at personal quirks you find entertaining and endearing. Teasing is great because it shows that you really know your partner inside and out and that you love their greatest attributes and biggest flaws equally. Laughter and
Tease each other, playfully Read More »
You are each unique and wonderful in your own ways. Don’t make it into a competition. You may prioritize being healthy, and your spouse doesn’t care as much. You may want to be involved in community work and your spouse would rather spend more time with the family. You may have certain ways of doing
Don’t compare your spouse to yourself Read More »
Some issues between you and your spouse just won’t be resolved ever. Noted relationship expert John Gottman calls these ‘perpetual problems’. These center on either fundamental differences in your personalities, background, and experiences, or fundamental differences in your life style needs. Every couple has some perpetual problems that just aren’t solvable. One of the couple
You don’t have to resolve every issue Read More »
“It’s like reality isn’t reality right now.” Nonetheless, this is reality. Don’t argue with reality. You’ll lose. But only 100% of the time. 🙂 Not that this is easy. Not at all. We’ve all been dealt a difficult hand right now. Some more difficult than others. Some waaaaaay more. For all of us it is
Everything happens for you, not to you. Read More »
Yom Tov can be stressful. So many meals, change of schedules and no technology distractions. and… and … Expect that there will be stressful moments and plan for those. Have lots of snacks ready for all. Plan your nap times and alone times. Have stacks of books and games for kids. Before Yom Tov, determine
Plan for inevitable stress. Read More »
So plans have changed and then changed again. You may have images in your mind of how your Pesach will be at home with your closest family (or maybe even alone). You may have visions about how you can include your loved ones who won’t be at your physical seder. Be flexible. Your plans may
Be flexible. Even your new plans may not turn out exactly as you envision. Read More »
Nostalgia has the potential to lift people’s spirits, make them feel more connected to others, and heighten the sense that life has continuity and meaning. Studies have shown that nostalgia can counteract boredom and anxiety, can motivate people to work toward goals, and is linked to increased generosity and tolerance. Go through your trove of
Nostalgize: savor your memories Read More »
There are lots of messages to see the positive aspects of this crazy time. And there are many – the opportunity to slow down and spend more time with family, a shift in priorities and mindsets, new ways of friendships, etc. It is also OK to see the negatives too. Just don’t dwell on them
See the positive in all this. Allow the negative too. Read More »
With these unknowns, it is natural to feel fear, anxiety, confusion, and sadness. There’s a difference between worry and concern; it is all in how you are dealing with the negative situation. A difference in your thoughts and subsequent actions. WORRY feels out of control. It is repetitive, obsessive thoughts that seem to stay and
Worry – No. Concern – Yes. Read More »
