Sometimes the project is so big, we don’t know what steps to take to get us there. The goal can seem overwhelming; we may feel we don’t have the know-how, time or the resources. Or we don’t see what steps we can take to get ourselves there. Oftentimes, this is because we set unrealistic expectations […]
Progress, not perfection. Read More »
Thinking about all that needs to be done before Pesach can be overwhelming, and thus demotivating. So many areas need to be tackled. When we start small, we can plan early successes that will inspire us and motivate us and encourage us to keep going. Start with one manageable corner, a small closet, a drawer.
Start with something small so you see some success quickly. Read More »
Most likely, people are not going to just see your need and offer to it on their own. If you want assistance in doing something, just ask. Don’t wish or hope they’ll volunteer. Don’t hint at it. That just leads to disappointment. Ask outright.
You want help? Just ask. Read More »
When mess and chaos happen (and it’s Purim, so something will happen), you can choose your response. You can stress. Or you can laugh first, and then deal with it. Later. After a good laugh.
Mess? Chaos? Laugh first, and then deal. Read More »
When your spouse expresses their upset at something you did or didn’t do, stick to the present topic; don’t bring up the past. Don’t bring the wonderful things you’ve done in the past. They aren’t necessarily relevant to the current situation. A: “Why are you angry?” B: “Because when I ask you to drive me
Don’t bring up the past. Read More »
When your spouse shares negative feedback, a complaint, listen fully. No matter how hard it is to hear it. *Even if your spouse is sharing complaints about something you have or haven’t done, try to remain focused on what they are sharing and not on preparing a response or retort to what they have shared.*
Accept negative feedback with interest and respect Read More »
‘No’ is an acceptable answer. If you ask something of your spouse, “no” has to be an acceptable response. You cannot demand, sulk, be passive-aggressive or try to convince or manipulate.
Accept a “no” answer Read More »
During stressful times, some people become emotional, controlling, and close-minded. This can have a negative impact on everyone around. When stress does come – and it will from time to time – think about the family and relationship dynamic you want, and if your stress-driven actions support that. You wouldn’t threaten or blame in calm
Be the same spouse in stressful times as in calm times. Read More »
Create a list of the things that you don’t want your spouse to do if you ever got into an argument. “What are things you don’t want me to do or say during an argument?” Accept those requests as ‘argument rules’ and promise to abide by those rules. It is not about making your point,
Talk about the way you argue Read More »
Nitpicking: It can be easy to pick apart aspects of your spouse that you dislike or don’t agree with. (Everyone has something.) When you point out what one another has or hasn’t done or how your spouse said or did something wrong, you are belittling, embarrassing, and demeaning them. You’re also saying that you want
Don’t point out every tiny flaw. Read More »
