In any relationship, differences of perspectives are inevitable due to each person’s unique set of values that they hold dear. For instance, one spouse may prioritize feeding the family only healthy foods for their well-being, while the other cherishes the freedom to explore diverse cuisines and savor life’s pleasures. Both values are valid and deserve […]
Honoring Each Other’s Values. Read More »
In every couple, there are two unique people, so it is inevitable that there will have differences in perspectives, opinions, dreams, and desires. There really isn’t one right way to experience the world. Things that irritate us about our spouse are things where we have differences. Explore deeper to understand what difference(s) that irritation reveals.
There will be differences between spouses. In every marriage. Read More »
We are all individual people with our own perspectives and view of our world. There will be differences. It is important to understand your spouse’s viewpoint. Be respectful of their opinion, even if it differs from your own. Try to put yourself in their shoes, and recognize that everyone has different experiences and beliefs that
Respect your differences. Read More »
People can have two very different experiences of the same event. We are in the same room, and one is cold and one is hot. Two experiences in the same room.We are at the same party, and one is tired and one wants to party on.We are at the same lecture, and one is bored
I feel. You feel. We don’t feel the same. Read More »
So many of our conflicts and frustrations come from disappointments with other people. They didn’t do what we had hoped or expected. They came later than they said they would. They didn’t give a good enough compliment. They forgot your birthday. Again. The best way to avoid being disappointed is to accept people for exactly
Disappointment means that you don’t fully accept. Read More »
Reframe how you deal with stress. Observe your stress – without judgment. Instead of saying, “I am so stressed!”, say, “I am noticing that I am feeling overwhelmed.” This tiny mindshift puts a little bit of distance between you and the feeling. It loosens the grip of stress and then you can better handle the situation.
Distance yourself from your stress. Read More »
No one person can meet another person’s every need. Don’t put that expectation on yourself. Or on your spouse. That is too much pressure on each of you and the relationship. Allow your spouse to have other people in their lives. Encourage them to have friendships, get advice from others, spend time with family too.
Your spouse can’t be your everything. Read More »
Your spouse IS different from you. It might be easier if your spouse felt like you, thought like you, had the same needs and personality. But they never will. And that’s a good thing. You complement each other’s strengths and limitations. You are exposed to different perspectives and styles. You are introduced to new interests
For a thriving relationship, understand and respect your differences. Read More »
“We need to talk.” People (especially men) don’t like to hear about what they are doing ‘wrong’. It brings up feelings of shame and inadequacy. Which then brings the desire to shut down or to run away. Which then makes the other person feel even more upset and resentful. In a downward spiral. Of course,
Talking about problems in your relationship is probably making things worse. Read More »
Sit in your spouse’s chair (metaphorically). Try to understand why they did whatever it is that they did that is triggering a negative reaction in you. Try to look at the situation, problem or argument from their point of view. Try to see what might have been going on for them right before the incident,
Sit in your spouse’s chair to understand their perspective Read More »
